1
00:00:58,866 --> 00:01:01,108
Why should I care?
2
00:01:01,243 --> 00:01:05,027
Why should I let it touch me?
3
00:01:06,999 --> 00:01:09,122
Why shouldn't I
4
00:01:09,251 --> 00:01:14,246
Sit down and try to
let it pass over me?
5
00:01:15,048 --> 00:01:17,966
Why should they stare?
6
00:01:19,386 --> 00:01:23,466
Why should I let it get me?
7
00:01:23,599 --> 00:01:26,635
What's the use of despair
8
00:01:27,644 --> 00:01:30,134
If they call you a square?
9
00:01:32,065 --> 00:01:36,110
You're a long time dead
like my old pal Fred
10
00:01:36,236 --> 00:01:40,814
So why oh why should I
11
00:01:41,491 --> 00:01:43,531
Bother to?
12
00:01:46,496 --> 00:01:49,946
If they see that you're blue
they'll look down on you
13
00:01:50,083 --> 00:01:53,119
So why oh why should I
14
00:01:53,252 --> 00:01:56,419
Bother to care?
15
00:01:56,547 --> 00:01:58,670
Thank God I know more
16
00:01:58,799 --> 00:02:01,800
Why oh why should I
17
00:02:01,928 --> 00:02:07,514
Bother to care?
18
00:02:12,313 --> 00:02:14,351
God bless you.
19
00:02:18,944 --> 00:02:21,980
- I haven't seen him on the TV. Have you?
- What's that?
20
00:02:22,113 --> 00:02:24,071
- I've not seen him on TV.
- Who?
21
00:02:24,199 --> 00:02:25,942
Archie Rice.
22
00:02:26,075 --> 00:02:29,575
It's only a lot of daft girls
standing about with nothing on.
23
00:02:29,704 --> 00:02:32,278
- Come on, Father.
- He looks daft.
24
00:02:32,415 --> 00:02:38,039
- Will you come on when I tell you?
- He's never been on TV.
25
00:02:54,187 --> 00:02:56,225
Granddad!
26
00:02:57,899 --> 00:03:01,065
Granddad! Granddad!
27
00:03:02,944 --> 00:03:05,862
- Hello, Granddad.
- Jean! I wondered who it was.
28
00:03:05,990 --> 00:03:09,192
- I'm sorry if I startled you.
- I didn't know who it was.
29
00:03:09,326 --> 00:03:11,900
- I was miles away.
- It's good to see you.
30
00:03:12,037 --> 00:03:16,117
It's good to see you, my darling.
Give your grandfather a kiss.
31
00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:18,242
- Give me your case.
- I can manage.
32
00:03:18,376 --> 00:03:20,749
Hold your bloody noise.
33
00:03:20,879 --> 00:03:23,796
Your stepmother's in
one of her moods so I came out.
34
00:03:23,923 --> 00:03:28,918
I can't stand rows with Phoebe any more,
so I come and sit on the pier.
35
00:03:29,053 --> 00:03:32,553
Albert. Take care of this for me, will you?
36
00:03:32,682 --> 00:03:37,640
- This is my granddaughter.
- Have you come to see your dad?
37
00:03:40,565 --> 00:03:42,604
Thank you. Come on.
38
00:03:44,943 --> 00:03:47,731
- Who's that?
- Archie Rice's daughter.
39
00:03:47,863 --> 00:03:50,865
It's good to see you.
How long are you going to stay?
40
00:03:50,992 --> 00:03:53,317
Just a few days, I expect.
41
00:03:54,411 --> 00:03:57,282
- Have you heard from young Mick?
- Yes, he's fine.
42
00:03:57,414 --> 00:04:01,661
He'll be all right. But it's a nasty
business to get mixed up in.
43
00:04:01,793 --> 00:04:05,079
All those people in Egypt
and God knows where else.
44
00:04:05,213 --> 00:04:08,131
They seem to do what they like
to us nowadays.
45
00:04:08,258 --> 00:04:10,928
I went to the rally last Sunday.
46
00:04:11,052 --> 00:04:13,508
- What for, for God's sake?
- I don't know.
47
00:04:13,638 --> 00:04:17,173
I've got myself steamed up
about a lot of things lately.
48
00:04:17,308 --> 00:04:20,060
You want to have your bloody head read.
49
00:04:20,186 --> 00:04:23,638
- That's more or less what Graham said.
- Graham?
50
00:04:23,773 --> 00:04:25,813
My fiancé.
51
00:04:33,532 --> 00:04:35,442
- Can we go now, miss?
- All right.
52
00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:40,534
Paints and brushes on this table
and paintings over here.
53
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:02,973
- Finished?
- Yes, miss.
54
00:05:06,065 --> 00:05:08,472
Don't you want to go and dance?
55
00:05:08,608 --> 00:05:11,978
You don't have to go if you don't want to.
56
00:05:37,094 --> 00:05:39,134
Good night.
57
00:05:46,937 --> 00:05:49,772
Here, watch out where you're going!
58
00:05:49,898 --> 00:05:52,390
Am I late?
59
00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:55,397
No, his train doesn't leave for an hour.
60
00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:58,066
You were making a lot of noise.
61
00:05:58,198 --> 00:06:01,318
Well, my little social worker,
what was it tonight?
62
00:06:01,451 --> 00:06:06,196
The bicycle-chain ball
or the flick-knife excuse-me?
63
00:06:07,290 --> 00:06:11,334
Can't see the soldier brother off
to the wars with a long face like that.
64
00:06:11,460 --> 00:06:15,921
No, I should look pleased
about it, shouldn't I?
65
00:06:29,229 --> 00:06:33,273
How do you think you could ever
make anything out of those monsters?
66
00:06:33,399 --> 00:06:35,687
Don't let's do this again.
67
00:06:35,818 --> 00:06:39,862
You are never going to do anything
with those sort of people.
68
00:06:39,988 --> 00:06:43,523
Don't talk to me about
those sort of people.
69
00:06:43,659 --> 00:06:48,036
If it weren't for your sort of people
still in other people's countries,
70
00:06:48,163 --> 00:06:51,746
my brother wouldn't be
going off to fight.
71
00:06:53,043 --> 00:06:57,372
- The telegram came at breakfast.
- Why didn't they wait till February?
72
00:06:57,506 --> 00:07:01,753
Oh, I don't know.
I'm thinking of signing on.
73
00:07:01,885 --> 00:07:04,839
Well... up the flag, Mick.
74
00:07:04,971 --> 00:07:07,806
Here's to you.
Let's hope it's a false alarm.
75
00:07:07,932 --> 00:07:09,972
Thank you.
76
00:07:10,685 --> 00:07:16,558
- You're leaving tonight?
- No, they're flying us out in the morning.
77
00:07:17,817 --> 00:07:19,975
It's nice of you to come and see me off.
78
00:07:20,111 --> 00:07:23,943
- Off to defend the Empire.
- My queen and country need me.
79
00:07:24,073 --> 00:07:27,192
I wish I could think it was funny.
80
00:07:27,326 --> 00:07:29,782
Give him a break. He'll be all right.
81
00:07:29,912 --> 00:07:32,948
Jean's always taken everything seriously.
82
00:07:33,082 --> 00:07:37,494
I've always taken it as it comes,
but not Jeannie.
83
00:07:37,627 --> 00:07:43,997
Cheer up, love. Life isn't as bad as all that.
Even if it is, there's nothing we can do.
84
00:07:45,177 --> 00:07:47,216
I must be off.
85
00:07:48,472 --> 00:07:52,090
- Come on.
- Well, that needs cleaning for a start.
86
00:07:52,225 --> 00:07:54,467
- I'll do it.
- Good lad. Come on.
87
00:08:05,446 --> 00:08:08,447
Don't come any further.
There's my mob there.
88
00:08:08,574 --> 00:08:10,153
- Goodbye, love.
- Bye.
89
00:08:10,285 --> 00:08:12,775
- Stick in the back if there's shooting.
- You bet.
90
00:08:12,912 --> 00:08:15,997
- Go up and see Phoebe and the old boy.
- I'm going to.
91
00:08:16,124 --> 00:08:19,078
Goodbye, Graham.
Are you two getting married?
92
00:08:19,210 --> 00:08:23,289
- Ask her.
- Well, make her! It's what Jean needs.
93
00:08:23,423 --> 00:08:27,965
I'll bring you back a fuzzy-wuzzy
for your wedding present. Bye.
94
00:08:28,094 --> 00:08:30,133
- Bye-bye.
- Goodbye.
95
00:08:32,265 --> 00:08:34,303
Let's go.
96
00:08:35,935 --> 00:08:38,390
- Do you want to eat somewhere?
- No, thanks.
97
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:42,601
- It might cheer you up.
- I want to go home.
98
00:08:42,733 --> 00:08:45,021
All right.
99
00:08:49,573 --> 00:08:53,950
- Do you want to come?
- What about the landlady?
100
00:08:54,077 --> 00:08:56,365
We'll beat her up.
101
00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:14,216
I've been longing to tell you all day.
They want a decision pretty soon.
102
00:09:14,347 --> 00:09:17,513
- Why Africa?
- The firm's expanding out there.
103
00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:20,725
You know - young men, big opportunities.
104
00:09:20,853 --> 00:09:25,515
- Do you want to go?
- Yes, I do. I've thought about it a lot.
105
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,558
We could get married next month.
106
00:09:29,695 --> 00:09:34,570
Supposing I don't want to go, Graham?
Would you go just the same?
107
00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:38,448
- I don't think that's a fair question.
- No, but I'm asking it.
108
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:44,035
- If we married it might change your mind.
- What if I didn't?
109
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,373
- Why do you want to go?
- I've told you.
110
00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:48,495
Big opportunities. Big deal.
111
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,335
You love me, don't you?
You still want to marry me?
112
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:54,752
- Of course.
- Then why do we argue?
113
00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:57,424
I don't understand you.
114
00:09:57,555 --> 00:10:00,841
There's nothing to keep you here.
Nothing.
115
00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:05,388
Nothing but a bunch of teddy boys
who ought to be put in jail.
116
00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:09,056
Don't pretend you can't leave
that deadbeat family of yours.
117
00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:13,901
Can't you understand?
This job means something to me.
118
00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:20,244
I'm not good enough to paint myself,
but this is something I really can do.
119
00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:23,951
Maybe the first term has been hell,
but I'm not going to give up.
120
00:10:24,081 --> 00:10:26,322
There's nothing to keep us here.
121
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:31,701
You've never stopped saying everything
about this country's dead. I agree.
122
00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:36,050
This would be a wonderful chance
for us to get out of it.
123
00:10:46,311 --> 00:10:48,350
I'm sorry.
124
00:10:51,774 --> 00:10:55,688
- I'm so tired.
- I know. I'm sorry.
125
00:10:57,113 --> 00:10:59,152
Don't be.
126
00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:06,660
Take me to bed.
127
00:11:14,755 --> 00:11:19,583
I'm all right, Granddad.
I feel better now I've talked about it.
128
00:11:19,718 --> 00:11:23,965
You always liked coming to see me.
You were a pretty little thing.
129
00:11:24,098 --> 00:11:26,304
Not that looks are everything.
130
00:11:26,433 --> 00:11:30,051
You don't look at the mantelpiece
when you poke the fire.
131
00:11:30,187 --> 00:11:33,805
Archie always saw
you were nicely turned out.
132
00:11:33,940 --> 00:11:37,356
He was a smart little boy himself.
133
00:11:37,485 --> 00:11:41,317
Used to dress 'em in sailor suits then.
134
00:11:41,447 --> 00:11:45,445
- Funny how they all turn out.
- How is Dad?
135
00:11:45,577 --> 00:11:50,203
He's a fool. Raising money for another
show when he hasn't enough for this one.
136
00:11:50,332 --> 00:11:54,958
- What's this one like?
- I don't know. I haven't seen it.
137
00:11:55,086 --> 00:11:57,577
They don't want human beings any more.
138
00:11:58,005 --> 00:12:03,676
You're a lovely lot tonight.
I've played in front of them all, you know.
139
00:12:03,803 --> 00:12:07,800
The Queen, the Duke of Edinburgh,
the Prince of Wales...
140
00:12:07,931 --> 00:12:10,601
What's that other pub?
141
00:12:10,726 --> 00:12:15,055
That went better at first house.
What about these crooners?
142
00:12:15,188 --> 00:12:19,649
I don't know what they're coming to.
Look at the stuff they sing.
143
00:12:19,777 --> 00:12:23,311
"The Darktown Strutters' Ball".
"The Basin Street Ball".
144
00:12:23,447 --> 00:12:25,605
"The Woodchoppers' Ball".
145
00:12:25,741 --> 00:12:28,907
It's a lot of... rubbish, isn't it?
146
00:12:29,035 --> 00:12:33,448
- He's a bit suggestive, isn't he?
- Now I'm going to sing you a little song.
147
00:12:33,581 --> 00:12:36,618
A little song written by Rimsky-Nastikov.
148
00:12:36,752 --> 00:12:43,881
It's entitled "The Church Bell Won't Ring
Tonight as the Vicar's got the Clapper."
149
00:12:46,177 --> 00:12:50,388
Hide your face, Mum,
the girls have got me
150
00:12:50,514 --> 00:12:54,215
I shan't be home for an hour or two
I've got all sorts of nice things to do
151
00:12:54,351 --> 00:12:57,851
They've got me worked up
in such a state
152
00:12:57,980 --> 00:13:01,479
So hide your face, Mum,
cos I can't hardly wait
153
00:13:01,608 --> 00:13:05,689
So hide your face, Mum,
the girls have got me
154
00:13:05,821 --> 00:13:09,902
The girls, the glamorous gorgeous girls,
have got me
155
00:13:10,034 --> 00:13:12,276
All right, Nicky?
156
00:13:12,411 --> 00:13:14,451
- Hey.
- Take her up.
157
00:13:15,915 --> 00:13:17,325
- Jean!
- Hello, Frank.
158
00:13:17,458 --> 00:13:19,746
Nice to see you, love.
159
00:13:19,876 --> 00:13:23,328
- Got a holiday?
- Sort of. I've just seen Granddad.
160
00:13:23,463 --> 00:13:26,500
Dad's on.
As you may possibly have guessed.
161
00:13:26,633 --> 00:13:29,587
- He'll be off in a minute, though.
- OK.
162
00:13:30,220 --> 00:13:34,383
But it's when she'd gone and left me
163
00:13:34,516 --> 00:13:37,268
That I started to say good night
164
00:14:16,974 --> 00:14:20,923
- Can't be anyone in front tonight.
- Look who's here.
165
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:22,436
Hello, Jean!
166
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:25,101
This is nice.
I haven't got my glasses on.
167
00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:28,517
I know. You thought I was
the income tax man.
168
00:14:28,652 --> 00:14:30,977
- All right, are you?
- Fine.
169
00:14:36,284 --> 00:14:40,032
Hide your face, Mum,
the girls have got him
170
00:14:40,163 --> 00:14:43,614
He won't be home for an hour or two
He's got all sorts of nice things to do
171
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:46,786
They've got him
worked up in such a state
172
00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:49,077
Hide your face, Mum
173
00:14:49,213 --> 00:14:54,254
The girls, the glamorous gorgeous girls,
have got him now
174
00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:13,434
- How's it going?
- First house about 60 sad little drabs.
175
00:15:13,571 --> 00:15:17,438
- Tonight about 200 sad little drabs.
- Excuse me.
176
00:15:17,574 --> 00:15:19,816
Frank! I'd like to see you.
177
00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:26,207
If we go on next week, it will be by very
reluctant agreement of 20 angry people.
178
00:15:26,333 --> 00:15:28,658
- Have you been home?
- No, not yet.
179
00:15:28,793 --> 00:15:33,336
- I ought to have warned Phoebe.
- Not to worry. You can have Mick's room.
180
00:15:33,465 --> 00:15:38,541
- How is Mick? Have you heard from him?
- Yes. He's just twiddling his thumbs.
181
00:15:38,678 --> 00:15:42,093
It's hot, he says. Not one for subtle detail.
182
00:15:42,223 --> 00:15:46,055
- Kids say if they aren't paid they'll quit.
- Well, let 'em.
183
00:15:46,185 --> 00:15:49,804
Go and get a couple of bottles.
I'm going to have a celebration.
184
00:15:49,939 --> 00:15:52,227
- Of what?
- My 20th anniversary.
185
00:15:52,358 --> 00:15:55,561
Of not paying income tax.
You go with him, love.
186
00:15:55,695 --> 00:16:00,024
I'll meet you at Buckingham Palace.
I've got a couple of people to see.
187
00:16:00,157 --> 00:16:03,407
Good night, Frank.
188
00:16:31,062 --> 00:16:34,182
- Did you see Ree?
- Better get some lolly for her.
189
00:16:34,315 --> 00:16:36,308
Here's your week.
190
00:16:36,442 --> 00:16:38,482
It's not so hot.
191
00:16:41,656 --> 00:16:45,356
- Want one?
- I don't think I'd better, had I?
192
00:16:46,201 --> 00:16:49,618
- Uh-oh.
- Well? What about it?
193
00:16:49,747 --> 00:16:54,076
I'll just be five minutes.
I've got to listen to the news.
194
00:16:54,209 --> 00:16:59,370
- I'm not leaving this theatre without it.
- Just five minutes.
195
00:17:01,007 --> 00:17:04,341
There'll be another programme
in this series next week.
196
00:17:04,469 --> 00:17:07,672
The eleven-o'clock news summary
follows almost at once.
197
00:17:14,270 --> 00:17:19,810
This is the BBC Home Service. Here is the
summary of the news. First of all, Suez.
198
00:17:19,943 --> 00:17:25,399
A number of British paratroopers
are reported to have been captured.
199
00:17:25,532 --> 00:17:30,193
Names will be withheld
until the next of kin have been informed.
200
00:17:30,328 --> 00:17:35,322
The House of Commons is debating
the situation in the Middle East tomorrow.
201
00:17:35,458 --> 00:17:39,372
Latest reports were considered
at a cabinet meeting this afternoon.
202
00:17:39,754 --> 00:17:45,210
Oh, this is nice! What a shame - if I'd
known I could have been back earlier,
203
00:17:45,343 --> 00:17:47,798
but I saw a bit of the picture round again.
204
00:17:47,928 --> 00:17:50,051
- What was it like?
- Wasn't up to much.
205
00:17:50,180 --> 00:17:52,968
They're showing
a lot of rubbish these days.
206
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:56,599
They're going to close it down.
Everything's doing badly.
207
00:17:56,728 --> 00:18:00,595
- That's what worries Archie.
- Good night, Mum. See you, Jeano.
208
00:18:00,732 --> 00:18:03,567
- Where are you off to?
- He's got an extra job.
209
00:18:03,693 --> 00:18:09,115
He's playing the piano in one of these
late-night drinking places.
210
00:18:09,241 --> 00:18:11,696
- It is lovely to see her, isn't it, Dad?
- Yes.
211
00:18:11,827 --> 00:18:15,575
He's pleased. He doesn't have
anyone much to talk to, do you?
212
00:18:15,705 --> 00:18:21,541
He won't come to the pictures with me.
He likes to listen to a play on the wireless.
213
00:18:21,669 --> 00:18:25,204
- You like a nice play!
- I can't sit for long.
214
00:18:25,340 --> 00:18:28,542
- I'm all right.
- I'm at Woolworth's now. Did I tell you?
215
00:18:28,676 --> 00:18:32,970
I'm on the electrical counter.
Not bad. Girls are a bit common.
216
00:18:33,097 --> 00:18:37,260
- It is nice to see you.
- Archie says you've heard from Mick.
217
00:18:37,393 --> 00:18:41,473
Yes, he's out there. You think
he's going to be all right, don't you?
218
00:18:41,605 --> 00:18:47,608
Why do they send these boys out?
They're just kids. That's all he is, a kid.
219
00:18:47,736 --> 00:18:53,940
- They do look after them, don't they?
- Oh yes, they look after them all right.
220
00:18:54,076 --> 00:18:58,240
They look after them better now
than they did. The Dardanelles.
221
00:18:58,372 --> 00:19:02,535
I went through that without a scratch.
Not a scratch on me.
222
00:19:02,668 --> 00:19:06,795
Aye aye. I've just been talking
to our coloured friend on the stairs.
223
00:19:06,921 --> 00:19:09,377
- He's a student.
- No, he's a ballet dancer.
224
00:19:09,508 --> 00:19:12,461
Is he? He's a big fellow.
225
00:19:12,594 --> 00:19:15,263
- Playing the Winter Gardens.
- Ballet dancer?
226
00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:17,547
He says if you drop your hat
outside there,
227
00:19:17,682 --> 00:19:20,967
kick it all the way to the promenade
before you pick it up.
228
00:19:21,102 --> 00:19:25,265
- There's a telegram come for you.
- Don't you think she's looking peaky?
229
00:19:25,397 --> 00:19:29,609
- There's a telegram come for you!
- It's probably one of my creditors.
230
00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:32,405
Good girl.
You remembered Phoebe's Dubonnet.
231
00:19:32,530 --> 00:19:37,571
She likes that. Don't you? She thinks
she's being awfully U when she drinks it.
232
00:19:37,701 --> 00:19:40,406
Well, I like it. It seems to soothe me.
233
00:19:40,538 --> 00:19:45,662
- Was it all right at the theatre?
- No, it was not all right at the theatre.
234
00:19:45,792 --> 00:19:48,912
Have your Dubonnet, dear.
Jean, that's yours.
235
00:19:49,046 --> 00:19:50,754
- Billy, wake up!
- I am awake.
236
00:19:50,881 --> 00:19:55,210
- Well, stop yelling, then. Here's a drink.
- I don't want it.
237
00:19:55,343 --> 00:19:58,593
Yes, you do. Don't argue.
I'm having a celebration.
238
00:19:58,722 --> 00:20:01,888
- What have you got to celebrate about?
- Oh, dear.
239
00:20:02,017 --> 00:20:05,599
Not a thing you can call your own,
and as sure as God made little apples
240
00:20:05,728 --> 00:20:09,975
I'll lay a sovereign to a penny piece
you'll be bankrupt before Christmas.
241
00:20:10,108 --> 00:20:12,433
And you'll be lucky not to end up in jail.
242
00:20:12,568 --> 00:20:15,937
- Get him to go to bed.
- Go to bed. You're overtired.
243
00:20:16,072 --> 00:20:21,030
I'm not overtired. I don't relish
the idea of a jailbird in the family.
244
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,652
Shut up, Dad.
You've had too much to drink.
245
00:20:23,788 --> 00:20:26,908
I used to have half a bottle
of brandy for breakfast.
246
00:20:27,041 --> 00:20:30,789
And a pound of steak
and a couple of chorus girls.
247
00:20:30,919 --> 00:20:35,048
I leave chorus girls to you. Do you know
what James Agate said about me?
248
00:20:35,174 --> 00:20:38,756
That you and Pat Campbell were
his favourite female impersonators.
249
00:20:38,886 --> 00:20:42,255
You know bloody well what he said.
250
00:20:42,389 --> 00:20:46,303
We all know what he said
and every word of it was true.
251
00:20:50,355 --> 00:20:54,483
Your daughter went to that
Trafalgar Square circus last Sunday.
252
00:20:54,610 --> 00:20:58,477
Did you really? Are you one of those
who don't like the prime minister?
253
00:20:58,613 --> 00:21:01,614
I've grown fond of him.
Does he bring you out in spots?
254
00:21:01,741 --> 00:21:07,993
- I wish I knew what was going to happen.
- I feel like that about that dog downstairs.
255
00:21:08,123 --> 00:21:11,408
- What is going to happen?
- Three things do that to me.
256
00:21:11,543 --> 00:21:15,789
- Nuns, clergymen and dogs.
- I don't want to always have to work.
257
00:21:15,921 --> 00:21:18,626
You want a bit of life before it's all over.
258
00:21:18,757 --> 00:21:23,253
Takes the gilt off if you've got to go on
and on until they carry you out in a box.
259
00:21:23,388 --> 00:21:26,424
- Did I tell you my nun story?
- It's all right for him.
260
00:21:26,557 --> 00:21:29,760
He still has his women.
While it lasts, anyway.
261
00:21:29,893 --> 00:21:34,437
But I don't want to end up
being lain out by some stranger
262
00:21:34,565 --> 00:21:40,520
in some rotten little street in Gateshead or
West Hartlepool or another of those holes.
263
00:21:40,654 --> 00:21:45,031
Phoebe, don't upset yourself.
Let's enjoy ourselves.
264
00:21:45,158 --> 00:21:48,658
Do you think I don't want to enjoy myself?
265
00:21:53,374 --> 00:21:57,373
I wish women wouldn't cry.
I wish they wouldn't.
266
00:21:57,504 --> 00:22:00,077
- Say something to her, Jean.
- Why don't you?
267
00:22:00,215 --> 00:22:03,714
I wish I could. I only wish I could.
268
00:22:05,177 --> 00:22:06,756
Phoebe...
269
00:22:06,888 --> 00:22:10,387
Phoebe, dear,
would you like to go to bed?
270
00:22:12,601 --> 00:22:18,188
Yes, I think I will if you don't mind, dear.
I think perhaps I've overdone it a bit.
271
00:22:18,315 --> 00:22:24,852
I never could stand too much excitement.
And I'm worrying about Mick underneath.
272
00:22:24,988 --> 00:22:27,740
I keep thinking about all that fighting.
273
00:22:27,866 --> 00:22:30,950
Get some sleep.
You'll feel better when you wake up.
274
00:22:31,078 --> 00:22:33,117
Yes, dear.
275
00:22:34,456 --> 00:22:40,328
- Would you come and say good night?
- Yes, I'm just finishing my celebration.
276
00:22:40,462 --> 00:22:42,918
- He's funny.
- Good night, son.
277
00:22:43,048 --> 00:22:45,621
- Good night.
- Good night, Jean.
278
00:22:45,758 --> 00:22:50,504
It was good seeing you.
We'll have a good talk tomorrow.
279
00:22:58,146 --> 00:23:01,063
- Dad?
- Yeah?
280
00:23:01,190 --> 00:23:04,690
You're keeping something to yourself.
281
00:23:05,611 --> 00:23:08,565
- You never miss a trick.
- What is it?
282
00:23:11,117 --> 00:23:16,359
Mick's been taken prisoner.
No point in breaking it tonight.
283
00:23:20,751 --> 00:23:23,206
I think I'd like some of that.
284
00:23:24,546 --> 00:23:27,382
We'll drink to Mick.
285
00:23:27,508 --> 00:23:29,963
Let's hope to God he manages.
286
00:23:35,390 --> 00:23:39,258
Mick. And... the income tax man.
287
00:23:44,066 --> 00:23:48,609
With you it's prime ministers.
With me it's dogs.
288
00:23:48,737 --> 00:23:51,406
Nuns, clergymen and dogs.
289
00:23:54,826 --> 00:24:00,330
Did I ever tell you the greatest
compliment I ever had paid me?
290
00:24:03,584 --> 00:24:08,127
I was walking along the promenade
somewhere. I think it was here, actually.
291
00:24:08,255 --> 00:24:10,960
One day...
292
00:24:11,091 --> 00:24:13,547
25 years ago.
293
00:24:13,678 --> 00:24:16,133
I was quite a young man.
294
00:24:16,263 --> 00:24:18,837
There I was walking along the promenade
295
00:24:18,974 --> 00:24:23,600
to meet what I think we used to call
a piece of crackling...
296
00:24:27,315 --> 00:24:32,143
when two nuns came toward me.
297
00:24:36,992 --> 00:24:39,031
Two nuns.
298
00:24:51,672 --> 00:24:54,294
Talk to me.
299
00:25:05,895 --> 00:25:09,310
Get down. Get downstairs.
Get down there.
300
00:25:45,183 --> 00:25:47,223
- Jean.
- There's nothing fresh.
301
00:25:47,352 --> 00:25:50,388
It's the same description
as we heard on the news.
302
00:25:50,521 --> 00:25:55,812
You'd think those rogues in Parliament
were glad our boys were taken prisoner.
303
00:25:55,944 --> 00:25:59,359
Their own country always wrong
and the other lot's always right.
304
00:25:59,489 --> 00:26:01,695
Dad, we're worried enough as it is.
305
00:26:01,824 --> 00:26:07,992
It says "Lt Pearson, who had been with
Sgt Rice shortly before he was captured,
306
00:26:08,122 --> 00:26:12,369
said he killed at least seven attackers
before he was overwhelmed."
307
00:26:12,501 --> 00:26:16,415
"'He must have run out of ammunition,'
he said. 'Rice wasn't the type..."'
308
00:26:16,547 --> 00:26:21,374
Don't go on.
I just can't bear to think about it.
309
00:26:24,763 --> 00:26:29,176
I fried these up for your breakfast.
They don't look very nice. I'm sorry.
310
00:26:29,309 --> 00:26:31,681
Never mind. I'm not really hungry.
311
00:26:31,811 --> 00:26:34,563
- Where's Frank?
- He went to the theatre.
312
00:26:34,689 --> 00:26:37,893
Said he wouldn't be in for breakfast.
313
00:26:38,818 --> 00:26:42,816
- Where's Dad?
- Out. He had a call from the town hall.
314
00:26:42,948 --> 00:26:45,485
- Sit down?
- No, thanks, Granddad.
315
00:26:45,616 --> 00:26:49,615
About the bathing beauty competition.
He'll be in his element.
316
00:26:49,746 --> 00:26:54,740
Bathing beauties? Haven't got the figures
nowadays. They're all skin and bone.
317
00:26:54,876 --> 00:26:58,873
What'll he do after this?
Is he really trying to put on another show?
318
00:26:59,004 --> 00:27:02,788
I don't know how, after that last business.
He's still a bankrupt.
319
00:27:02,925 --> 00:27:09,294
You knew that. I have to sign everything
for him. He can't get any credit.
320
00:27:09,431 --> 00:27:12,635
Still, he could always twist me
round his little finger.
321
00:27:12,768 --> 00:27:16,765
He won't listen to me.
He spends half his time in that Rockcliffe.
322
00:27:16,897 --> 00:27:19,601
That damned meat market
by the clock tower.
323
00:27:20,317 --> 00:27:23,651
- How'd you do that?
- How'd I pay income tax 20 years ago?
324
00:27:23,779 --> 00:27:28,275
Pure bad luck. I was trapped
in a hospital with a double hernia.
325
00:27:28,408 --> 00:27:34,577
Very nasty it was. I thought all my plans
for the future were going to be finished.
326
00:27:34,706 --> 00:27:37,493
That's another story
I'll tell you sometime.
327
00:27:37,626 --> 00:27:39,582
There I was lying on my back
328
00:27:39,711 --> 00:27:44,456
wondering whether draught Bass alone
was enough to make life worth living...
329
00:27:44,590 --> 00:27:46,630
Arnold, five more.
330
00:27:46,759 --> 00:27:49,963
...when two men sprang at me
from behind the screens.
331
00:27:50,096 --> 00:27:54,639
That was Archie's one downfall.
I think the ward sister tipped them off.
332
00:27:54,767 --> 00:27:56,925
She used to tell me she was spiritual.
333
00:27:57,061 --> 00:28:00,928
I'd gone legit just then
and I was in A Tale Of Two Cities.
334
00:28:01,065 --> 00:28:05,276
When I told her, she said
"I've heard of that." She was Irish.
335
00:28:05,402 --> 00:28:09,187
"Isn't that about Sodom and Gomorrah?"
336
00:28:10,032 --> 00:28:12,569
Hey, Harold. Can I have a word?
337
00:28:15,329 --> 00:28:17,368
Harold, how about...
338
00:28:18,749 --> 00:28:21,038
How about a booking?
339
00:28:21,168 --> 00:28:23,658
At the Winter Garden,
when the season's over?
340
00:28:23,795 --> 00:28:25,834
What do you have in mind?
341
00:28:25,963 --> 00:28:28,537
Something lavish. A couple of top-liners.
342
00:28:28,675 --> 00:28:32,803
I've got hold of those costumes
from Syd Stein's Blackpool show.
343
00:28:32,929 --> 00:28:35,301
- Fabulous stuff.
- Leave it alone.
344
00:28:35,431 --> 00:28:39,215
I was having a drink with
Doreen Maine's agent last Thursday.
345
00:28:39,352 --> 00:28:44,477
Doreen Maine. You know. One of her
records hit the top ten. Last February.
346
00:28:44,607 --> 00:28:48,521
- I'd like to do you a favour.
- I'm not asking any favours.
347
00:28:48,652 --> 00:28:51,226
- What management?
- Me.
348
00:28:52,281 --> 00:28:56,445
- Are you really serious?
- Serious? You don't understand.
349
00:28:56,577 --> 00:29:01,867
- I need this booking. I really need it.
- I'd have to see the show first.
350
00:29:01,999 --> 00:29:06,494
- I've got to open somewhere.
- Now, Archie.
351
00:29:06,629 --> 00:29:09,629
We've had some laughs.
Let's leave it like that.
352
00:29:09,757 --> 00:29:13,457
With a booking like this
I could break the circuits.
353
00:29:13,593 --> 00:29:16,879
You know me.
I only deal with established properties.
354
00:29:17,014 --> 00:29:19,551
I'm asking you as a friend.
355
00:29:21,851 --> 00:29:28,470
You know my office. If you've got a
concrete proposition I'm ready to listen.
356
00:29:29,484 --> 00:29:34,359
Sorry about that, Harold.
Worrying about young Mick, I dare say.
357
00:29:34,488 --> 00:29:37,406
That's all right, Archie.
358
00:29:42,872 --> 00:29:47,782
Well, I must rush now, boys.
The call of the bathing belle competition.
359
00:29:47,919 --> 00:29:51,252
- I'm judging the finals.
- I thought Wally Barker was.
360
00:29:51,380 --> 00:29:54,049
He dropped out,
so they sent for the expert.
361
00:29:54,174 --> 00:29:58,552
Mind you, they don't understand
the business in this country.
362
00:29:58,679 --> 00:30:01,799
On the Continent
they put the girls up for auction.
363
00:30:01,932 --> 00:30:06,178
Did I tell you about the chap
who'd take out a pen... Sorry, too late.
364
00:30:07,271 --> 00:30:09,512
- So long, Frank.
- So long.
365
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:17,571
- Can I help you, darling?
- I'm looking for Mr Rice.
366
00:30:18,656 --> 00:30:21,029
- I'm his daughter.
- Which one are you?
367
00:30:21,159 --> 00:30:23,697
The one born yesterday?
368
00:30:26,832 --> 00:30:29,666
As a matter of fact, she is my sister.
369
00:30:29,793 --> 00:30:31,832
Oh.
370
00:30:31,961 --> 00:30:33,586
Sorry.
371
00:30:34,547 --> 00:30:36,670
Jean! Jean.
372
00:30:36,799 --> 00:30:41,260
- Now listen, he didn't mean anything.
- I know what he meant.
373
00:30:41,387 --> 00:30:44,341
- Who is he?
- The new manager of the Winter Garden.
374
00:30:44,473 --> 00:30:50,594
- I wouldn't trust him behind a curtain...
- With his feet showing. As Dad says.
375
00:30:50,729 --> 00:30:53,600
- Why does he go on with it?
- Who, Dad?
376
00:30:53,732 --> 00:30:57,729
In the blood, I suppose. Yours too, I'll bet.
377
00:30:57,862 --> 00:31:03,614
- I wish sometimes he'd face up to reality.
- I don't think he faces up to much else.
378
00:31:03,742 --> 00:31:06,411
He knows music hall's dying
better than you do.
379
00:31:06,536 --> 00:31:10,404
And what about you, Frank?
Are you going on with it?
380
00:31:10,540 --> 00:31:14,372
Talent got a bit thin
when it come down to me.
381
00:31:14,502 --> 00:31:16,827
- And the courage too.
- Courage?
382
00:31:16,964 --> 00:31:21,708
Yeah. Courage to go on.
Like Archie. He's got it.
383
00:31:24,220 --> 00:31:26,509
- Walk to the Winter Garden with me.
- Why?
384
00:31:26,639 --> 00:31:31,514
I'm standing in for the lady horganist
for half a hour. Come on.
385
00:31:45,866 --> 00:31:49,864
Course Granddad had the real talent.
He had what it takes.
386
00:31:49,995 --> 00:31:53,863
People still remember him.
They stop him in the street.
387
00:31:53,999 --> 00:31:58,911
He's about all that's left of all that
music-hall stuff and all them other things.
388
00:31:59,046 --> 00:32:01,501
Still, as Phoebe always says...
389
00:32:01,631 --> 00:32:05,296
- Better to be a has-been...
- Than a never-was.
390
00:32:05,426 --> 00:32:08,547
It must have been
better than this, anyway.
391
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:11,432
Something's missing, isn't it?
392
00:32:14,018 --> 00:32:17,185
Mrs Sandy MacPherson calls.
393
00:32:17,314 --> 00:32:22,141
You'll be late for the beauty competition.
I'll see you.
394
00:32:43,755 --> 00:32:46,247
Miss Vicky Thelwell of Leeds.
395
00:32:46,383 --> 00:32:51,211
She likes weightlifting and dislikes
men with beards. Has no hobbies.
396
00:32:51,347 --> 00:32:56,424
What about her, eh? She needs some
beef putting into her, if you ask me.
397
00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:59,229
Nobody's asked me. Never mind.
398
00:33:00,688 --> 00:33:03,725
Miss Anne Thomlinson of Heysham.
399
00:33:03,859 --> 00:33:09,019
Likes steak, dislikes getting up
in the morning, and has no hobbies.
400
00:33:09,989 --> 00:33:12,112
Miss Shirley Lawrence from Ripon.
401
00:33:12,242 --> 00:33:18,659
She likes midnight swimming and
dislikes wolves and her hobby is sailing.
402
00:33:21,834 --> 00:33:24,586
Now Miss Joyce Richards from Heysham.
403
00:33:24,712 --> 00:33:30,002
She likes weightlifting and dislikes
men drivers and she's got no hobbies.
404
00:33:30,134 --> 00:33:33,467
- She's a smasher.
- Give over, Father.
405
00:33:33,596 --> 00:33:40,428
Don't look so worried. Your old man may
be square, but he still loves the curves.
406
00:33:42,729 --> 00:33:47,557
- How about that for a bit of Pi R squared?
- Where did they dig him up?
407
00:33:49,277 --> 00:33:51,733
- Hello. Hello, Granddad.
- Hello, dear.
408
00:33:51,863 --> 00:33:56,193
You've missed most of it. This is
the final walk-round. Archie's been good.
409
00:33:56,326 --> 00:34:00,904
- Yes, I was watching from the back.
- He hasn't said a word about Mick all day.
410
00:34:01,039 --> 00:34:04,455
He's worried about him.
That's why I came out.
411
00:34:04,584 --> 00:34:07,835
- To take my mind off it.
- She's pretty.
412
00:34:10,006 --> 00:34:13,173
And now Miss Tina Lapford from Burnley.
413
00:34:13,677 --> 00:34:18,338
She likes meeting people. Dislikes
sarcasm. Hobbies: Amateur dramatics.
414
00:34:23,894 --> 00:34:25,436
Whoo!
415
00:34:26,189 --> 00:34:29,973
- I wonder which he's picked for himself?
- Hold your bloody noise.
416
00:34:30,109 --> 00:34:33,727
Doesn't like me talking about it.
As if she doesn't know!
417
00:34:33,863 --> 00:34:37,694
- There's no reason to talk about it.
- She's not soft. Are you, dear?
418
00:34:37,824 --> 00:34:41,443
I don't want hear about it
and I shouldn't think Jean does.
419
00:34:41,578 --> 00:34:46,573
And now, before our distinguished judges
make their final selection,
420
00:34:46,708 --> 00:34:50,955
these lovely girls are going to line up
for you so you can make yours.
421
00:34:51,087 --> 00:34:57,422
I've made mine. Of course this is
a very tense moment, very tense indeed.
422
00:34:57,552 --> 00:35:00,553
The judges have
an elaborate system of marking.
423
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:04,595
They're marked "good",
"very good" and "wow".
424
00:35:06,436 --> 00:35:09,271
There you are, boys.
Aren't they gorgeous?
425
00:35:09,397 --> 00:35:13,691
Come on, boys. That'll take the tops
off your boiled eggs for you.
426
00:35:15,236 --> 00:35:20,693
If I mention the women, it's because it's
always been the same thing with them.
427
00:35:20,825 --> 00:35:24,609
Still, I suppose it's different with men.
More important to them.
428
00:35:24,745 --> 00:35:27,699
- Will you hold your bloody noise?
- Why don't you?
429
00:35:27,831 --> 00:35:33,869
Now the moment you've all been waiting
for - the judges' final announcement.
430
00:35:34,964 --> 00:35:39,424
For the third prize we have
Miss Joyce Richards of Heysham.
431
00:35:39,551 --> 00:35:42,422
Just 19 and very nice too.
432
00:35:42,554 --> 00:35:44,428
Thank you.
433
00:35:45,515 --> 00:35:51,020
To present the prizes, I have the great
honour and pleasure to introduce to you
434
00:35:51,146 --> 00:35:57,978
that great star of TV, stage, screen and
labour exchange, Mr MacDonald Hobley.
435
00:36:08,496 --> 00:36:10,619
Congratulations to you.
436
00:36:12,417 --> 00:36:18,703
And the second place, Miss Tina Lapford
from Burnley. Age 20 and very nice too.
437
00:36:18,839 --> 00:36:20,832
I'd vote for her.
438
00:36:22,301 --> 00:36:25,302
Oh, no. Don't think much of her.
439
00:36:25,429 --> 00:36:27,468
Good luck to you.
440
00:36:35,772 --> 00:36:37,646
- All yours, Mac.
- Thanks.
441
00:36:37,774 --> 00:36:42,151
Ladies and gentlemen,
the winner of the cheque for £1,000
442
00:36:42,278 --> 00:36:45,114
and the holder of the title
of Miss Great Britain
443
00:36:45,240 --> 00:36:48,324
is Valerie Martin from Salisbury.
444
00:37:01,047 --> 00:37:05,258
Listen. You two wait here while I
try and find Archie before the big rush.
445
00:37:05,385 --> 00:37:08,220
They'll be starting the photographs soon.
446
00:37:08,346 --> 00:37:11,015
- And you behave yourself.
- Yes, yes, yes.
447
00:37:11,140 --> 00:37:16,431
Beauty competition? I can't tell the
women from the men, not from the back.
448
00:37:16,562 --> 00:37:20,145
Even from the front
you have to take a good look sometimes.
449
00:37:20,274 --> 00:37:23,310
You look thirsty.
How about having a drink with me?
450
00:37:23,443 --> 00:37:26,480
I can't because I've got my mum with me.
451
00:37:26,613 --> 00:37:29,069
- Bring her along too.
- Really?
452
00:37:29,199 --> 00:37:32,034
- Of course. Is she here?
- Come over and meet her.
453
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:35,280
- I'd love to. Is she pretty?
- No!
454
00:37:35,413 --> 00:37:38,699
- She must be.
- No, she's not a bit. Mum!
455
00:37:42,670 --> 00:37:47,665
This is Mr Rice. He wanted to meet you.
This is my mum, Mrs Lapford.
456
00:37:53,348 --> 00:37:57,262
Go and get changed
and then you won't get cold.
457
00:37:58,603 --> 00:38:00,891
I thought they'd never decide.
458
00:38:01,022 --> 00:38:05,600
I'm not saying that because of Tina.
Second prize is better than no prize.
459
00:38:05,735 --> 00:38:10,729
- Everyone said it should have been first.
- What did they see in that girl?
460
00:38:10,865 --> 00:38:15,326
- Archie?
- A lot of the girls were extremely ladylike.
461
00:38:15,453 --> 00:38:18,157
But that one?
The one that won first prize?
462
00:38:18,289 --> 00:38:20,993
I'm sorry, I shall just have to say it.
463
00:38:21,124 --> 00:38:24,789
She was just common.
That's all I can say. Just common.
464
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:28,538
I knew our Tina had it in her
when she was a little girl.
465
00:38:28,674 --> 00:38:31,628
She was always doing impersonations.
Weren't you?
466
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:34,512
- Oh, that.
- "Oh, that?"
467
00:38:34,638 --> 00:38:39,015
Film stars. Veronica Lake she used to do.
And Donald Duck.
468
00:38:39,142 --> 00:38:41,182
And... who else did you do, love?
469
00:38:41,311 --> 00:38:45,771
- I don't remember. I was only a little kid.
- I knew she had it in her then.
470
00:38:45,899 --> 00:38:51,189
That's why she had elocution lessons.
She started those before school.
471
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:54,654
She's worked hard.
Of course she's got her head screwed on.
472
00:38:54,782 --> 00:39:00,025
You'll have seen that. You see, she wants
to get on, so I'm quite sure she will.
473
00:39:00,162 --> 00:39:02,452
All she needs is a little push.
474
00:39:02,582 --> 00:39:06,661
When you see some of those girls
on television... honest.
475
00:39:06,794 --> 00:39:08,916
You're right, Mrs... Lapford.
476
00:39:09,047 --> 00:39:14,799
I think... Tina, your Tina,
could easily go places in a big way.
477
00:39:14,927 --> 00:39:17,714
It's just a question of the breaks,
as you say.
478
00:39:17,847 --> 00:39:20,172
Now, I'm just wondering.
479
00:39:21,224 --> 00:39:27,097
You see, I have a new show opening
at the Winter Garden, actually.
480
00:39:27,230 --> 00:39:29,900
The Winter Garden? Have you?
481
00:39:30,025 --> 00:39:33,974
Yes. You see, it's an expensive show.
482
00:39:34,112 --> 00:39:38,904
Doreen Maine and thousands
of pounds' worth of costumes.
483
00:39:39,033 --> 00:39:42,568
It's quite a proposition.
484
00:39:42,703 --> 00:39:47,780
It just might be the right break for Tina.
485
00:39:58,636 --> 00:40:01,173
- You're late.
- I'm sorry. I got held up.
486
00:40:01,306 --> 00:40:05,137
- Had to sort out some scenery.
- Why'd you want to meet in this dump?
487
00:40:05,267 --> 00:40:08,434
- We can have a drink in the caravan.
- What caravan?
488
00:40:08,562 --> 00:40:10,602
I'll show you.
489
00:40:17,112 --> 00:40:19,401
Friend of mine owns a site.
490
00:40:19,531 --> 00:40:21,155
There.
491
00:40:25,912 --> 00:40:28,913
I thought we could be alone
for the afternoon.
492
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:30,664
OK?
493
00:40:32,043 --> 00:40:33,667
OK.
494
00:40:34,921 --> 00:40:36,961
Don't worry.
495
00:40:47,433 --> 00:40:50,933
- How do you feel?
- I feel...
496
00:40:53,815 --> 00:40:57,148
- Happy, I suppose.
- So do I.
497
00:40:58,236 --> 00:41:01,651
I've never been as happy as this.
Have you?
498
00:41:01,781 --> 00:41:04,651
No, I don't think I have.
499
00:41:04,784 --> 00:41:07,950
I've only ever had a young boyfriend.
500
00:41:08,912 --> 00:41:13,788
- Not used to the old crocks, then?
- Don't be so daft.
501
00:41:13,917 --> 00:41:18,543
I mean, I've never made love.
Not like this afternoon.
502
00:41:20,507 --> 00:41:22,547
Haven't you?
503
00:41:24,970 --> 00:41:27,721
Do you think I'm in love with you?
504
00:41:28,806 --> 00:41:31,558
- You tell me.
- Yes.
505
00:41:31,684 --> 00:41:33,724
Yes, I think I must be.
506
00:41:36,230 --> 00:41:38,982
What was your wife like, Archie?
507
00:41:41,319 --> 00:41:43,358
She was...
508
00:41:45,739 --> 00:41:48,610
a bit difficult to describe.
509
00:41:50,828 --> 00:41:53,153
Didn't you get on very well?
510
00:41:54,123 --> 00:41:56,162
Well, yeah, well...
511
00:41:57,001 --> 00:42:02,670
She didn't really approve of
the way I carried on, you see.
512
00:42:02,798 --> 00:42:05,124
- What do you mean?
- Well...
513
00:42:06,426 --> 00:42:09,096
She didn't think I took life seriously.
514
00:42:09,221 --> 00:42:14,463
Why should you take life seriously?
What good does it do you?
515
00:42:14,602 --> 00:42:18,930
I think you look smashing
when you're on the stage.
516
00:42:21,525 --> 00:42:26,815
- Where are your children, then?
- The girl's in London.
517
00:42:26,946 --> 00:42:29,354
One of the boys is in the army.
518
00:42:29,491 --> 00:42:30,522
Hey.
519
00:42:30,658 --> 00:42:33,612
What time have we got to meet
your mum and dad?
520
00:42:33,744 --> 00:42:37,113
Half past five.
I'd better get dressed, hadn't I?
521
00:42:37,248 --> 00:42:38,576
Yeah.
522
00:42:38,708 --> 00:42:41,661
I can't wait to be in the new show.
523
00:42:41,794 --> 00:42:45,922
Dad'll help with the money.
He's driving over today to talk about it.
524
00:42:46,048 --> 00:42:49,132
So don't worry. Mum'll fix that.
525
00:42:50,011 --> 00:42:53,509
Oh, Archie. You make me feel so good.
526
00:42:54,682 --> 00:42:56,805
You do, really.
527
00:42:56,934 --> 00:43:02,438
There's something... I don't know...
marvellous about you.
528
00:43:09,821 --> 00:43:13,819
- Did you ever want to get married again?
- No.
529
00:43:13,950 --> 00:43:17,782
- Never met anyone, I suppose.
- That's right.
530
00:43:17,912 --> 00:43:21,079
Here is a summary of the news.
531
00:43:21,207 --> 00:43:26,119
The War Office announced that
Sgt Michael Rice was being released
532
00:43:26,254 --> 00:43:29,669
after negotiations which began
at 11 o'clock this morning.
533
00:43:29,799 --> 00:43:33,298
Sgt Rice is reported to be fit and well.
An allocated aircr...
534
00:43:36,222 --> 00:43:40,718
What is it, eh?
Tell me, Archie. What is it?
535
00:43:42,562 --> 00:43:43,842
What?
536
00:43:43,980 --> 00:43:47,514
What's that
that makes you so marvellous?
537
00:43:47,650 --> 00:43:50,057
Say you love me, Archie.
538
00:43:56,284 --> 00:43:57,693
I love you.
539
00:43:58,326 --> 00:44:01,114
Home in a few days! I can't believe it.
540
00:44:01,246 --> 00:44:05,030
I knew they wouldn't keep him.
They wouldn't dare. Even nowadays.
541
00:44:05,167 --> 00:44:08,701
I hope it's true and nothing will go wrong.
542
00:44:08,837 --> 00:44:12,206
You do talk the most almighty rubbish.
543
00:44:12,340 --> 00:44:15,127
They say they've got
an aeroplane standing by.
544
00:44:15,259 --> 00:44:19,128
I don't want Archie to be disappointed
on top of everything else.
545
00:44:19,264 --> 00:44:23,012
You should never build things up.
You're always disappointed.
546
00:44:23,142 --> 00:44:29,227
That's Archie's trouble. Always builds
things up. Always off on some new idea.
547
00:44:29,607 --> 00:44:32,359
- And he said...
- I say, he's the limit.
548
00:44:32,485 --> 00:44:34,892
- Wait a minute.
- Sorry, go on.
549
00:44:35,029 --> 00:44:37,899
He said "Why do they call it
the Cat-Rice Inn?"
550
00:44:38,032 --> 00:44:42,908
He said "By the time the cats are finished
chasing the electric saucer of milk,
551
00:44:43,037 --> 00:44:45,113
it's turned into a rice pudding."
552
00:44:45,247 --> 00:44:48,747
That one's not so good,
but I got it from my landlady.
553
00:44:48,876 --> 00:44:51,498
It's not the only thing I got off her.
554
00:44:51,629 --> 00:44:53,917
I haven't laughed so much in a long time.
555
00:44:54,047 --> 00:44:58,792
You know that boy they took prisoner?
His name's Rice. Did you see the papers?
556
00:44:58,928 --> 00:45:01,216
I heard it on the radio. Another cup?
557
00:45:01,346 --> 00:45:04,715
- I don't mind if I do.
- Hold on. I'm mother.
558
00:45:05,809 --> 00:45:09,474
Now it's time we got down to business,
as the bishop said...
559
00:45:09,604 --> 00:45:12,688
- To the actress. I know.
- Don't worry, Archie.
560
00:45:12,815 --> 00:45:15,769
I'll see her right. You have my hand on it.
561
00:45:15,902 --> 00:45:18,440
- Then the deal's all set?
- It is.
562
00:45:18,571 --> 00:45:21,241
- And Tina's happy. Aren't you, love?
- Oh, yes.
563
00:45:21,366 --> 00:45:23,358
Well, thanks.
564
00:45:23,493 --> 00:45:26,114
Well, I've got to get off to the theatre.
565
00:45:26,287 --> 00:45:29,122
Why don't we all come,
now we're in show business?
566
00:45:29,248 --> 00:45:32,368
Tina can pick up a few tips.
567
00:45:32,501 --> 00:45:35,171
This is just a little summer show.
568
00:45:35,296 --> 00:45:38,961
It's nothing like the glorious
shape of things to come.
569
00:45:39,091 --> 00:45:43,837
But if you understand that, by all means.
I'll leave seats at the box office for you.
570
00:45:43,971 --> 00:45:45,714
Bye-bye, now.
571
00:45:45,847 --> 00:45:49,798
Oh, I say. He's a charming man,
isn't he, Wilfred?
572
00:45:49,935 --> 00:45:53,849
- Now, Ada, this is just a business deal.
- I'm well aware of that.
573
00:45:53,980 --> 00:45:56,020
Archie?
574
00:45:56,608 --> 00:45:59,941
I can't see you tonight.
It'll have to be tomorrow.
575
00:46:00,070 --> 00:46:02,109
All right, love.
576
00:46:21,215 --> 00:46:24,419
- That wasn't Archie, was it?
- No.
577
00:46:24,552 --> 00:46:30,008
Jean, could you lend me ten bob?
Do you mind, dear? Just till I get paid.
578
00:46:30,140 --> 00:46:32,430
I thought I'd buy this for Mick.
579
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:35,763
He's got such a sweet tooth.
He loves anything like this.
580
00:46:35,896 --> 00:46:40,772
- It's a bit jazzy, isn't it?
- Jazzy? I don't think it's jazzy.
581
00:46:40,901 --> 00:46:43,273
I don't know what you mean by jazzy.
582
00:46:43,403 --> 00:46:45,396
Mick'll like it anyway.
583
00:46:45,530 --> 00:46:48,615
Look, take this.
Archie gave it to me this morning.
584
00:46:48,742 --> 00:46:51,945
I'll borrow that, then.
I'll give it you back.
585
00:46:52,078 --> 00:46:57,239
OK. Only I can't come.
I promised to meet Granddad at the club.
586
00:46:57,375 --> 00:47:00,958
- All right, dear.
- I'll see you later.
587
00:47:01,087 --> 00:47:04,373
- Can I wear my diamond brooch?
- Course you can.
588
00:47:04,507 --> 00:47:06,547
My diamond brooch. Eh, Dad?
589
00:47:08,011 --> 00:47:11,676
You can't all get to the top.
You can't make your own luck.
590
00:47:11,806 --> 00:47:16,764
Me, I was always lucky.
Mind you, I was good too.
591
00:47:16,894 --> 00:47:19,564
Granddad. I must talk to you some time.
592
00:47:19,689 --> 00:47:22,262
- Of course. What about?
- It's about Dad.
593
00:47:22,399 --> 00:47:24,025
Oh, yes. Later.
594
00:47:24,152 --> 00:47:28,231
- It makes you proud.
- The ambassador I was telling you about.
595
00:47:28,364 --> 00:47:33,785
Sir something Pearson, his name was.
Charming fellow. Absolutely the best type.
596
00:47:33,911 --> 00:47:39,071
Told me I was his favourite comedian.
Barring George Robey.
597
00:47:39,875 --> 00:47:45,415
Tonight is a great occasion for one
of our most distinguished members.
598
00:47:45,547 --> 00:47:48,999
He's just had very good news
about someone in his family.
599
00:47:49,134 --> 00:47:54,176
I'm sure you'll all want to join with me
in drinking his health.
600
00:47:54,306 --> 00:47:56,346
Billy Rice!
601
00:47:59,311 --> 00:48:05,598
I'm going to ask him to do us the honour
of singing some of his favourite songs.
602
00:48:08,069 --> 00:48:13,229
Look at him. You wouldn't
remember him properly, would you?
603
00:48:14,367 --> 00:48:17,036
No, no. I don't want that thing.
604
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:24,575
The so-called government
we've got today
605
00:48:24,710 --> 00:48:28,375
Are cutting down expenses, so they say
606
00:48:28,505 --> 00:48:32,040
To save a few odd million, more or less
607
00:48:32,176 --> 00:48:35,545
They want to scrap the navy. Do they?
608
00:48:35,679 --> 00:48:37,838
Yes!
609
00:48:37,973 --> 00:48:40,131
We know they're broke, well, I'm broke
610
00:48:40,267 --> 00:48:43,137
So are you broke, we're all broke
611
00:48:43,270 --> 00:48:47,184
As we were when Bolingbroke
first sailed away
612
00:48:48,108 --> 00:48:50,599
But we've got the men,
we've got the ships
613
00:48:50,735 --> 00:48:54,235
What's more, we've got the water
614
00:48:56,366 --> 00:48:59,949
And it's just as wet
as in Lord Nelson's day
615
00:49:00,870 --> 00:49:05,199
So don't let 'em scrap the British navy
616
00:49:05,333 --> 00:49:08,250
Don't let 'em scrap our men o' war
617
00:49:09,211 --> 00:49:12,746
What do we care if the income tax
is twelve bob in the pound?
618
00:49:12,881 --> 00:49:16,546
We can owe it
like we've always done before
619
00:49:16,678 --> 00:49:20,378
Let Winston say ta-ta
to all the tartars he adores
620
00:49:20,514 --> 00:49:24,464
But not ta-ta to all the tars
that guard our English shores
621
00:49:24,601 --> 00:49:31,600
Let him scrap his high hats,
squash hats, straw hats and velours
622
00:49:32,109 --> 00:49:35,727
But they mustn't never scrap, no!
623
00:49:35,863 --> 00:49:39,278
They mustn't never scrap, no!
624
00:49:39,407 --> 00:49:43,536
They mustn't never scrap
the British navy
625
00:49:45,622 --> 00:49:48,409
For I'm sure you'll agree
626
00:49:48,542 --> 00:49:51,708
That a fellow like me
627
00:49:51,836 --> 00:49:54,506
Is the salt of our dear old country
628
00:49:54,631 --> 00:49:57,336
Of our dear old country
629
00:50:00,846 --> 00:50:03,930
But when our heritage is threatened
630
00:50:04,057 --> 00:50:06,547
At home or across the sea
631
00:50:06,684 --> 00:50:09,685
It's chaps like us - yes, you and me
632
00:50:09,812 --> 00:50:12,979
Who'll march again to victory
633
00:50:16,985 --> 00:50:19,987
Some people say we're finished
634
00:50:20,114 --> 00:50:22,735
Some people say we're done
635
00:50:22,866 --> 00:50:25,986
But if we all stand
636
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:30,069
By this dear old land
637
00:50:37,923 --> 00:50:41,126
- Don't look sour.
- You would if you'd been messed about.
638
00:50:41,259 --> 00:50:44,011
You'll get what's coming to you.
639
00:50:45,097 --> 00:50:49,094
The battle will be won
640
00:50:51,978 --> 00:50:55,726
Thank God we're normal,
normal, normal
641
00:50:55,857 --> 00:51:00,269
Yes, thank God we're normal,
we are the country's flower
642
00:51:00,402 --> 00:51:03,107
And when the great call comes
643
00:51:03,239 --> 00:51:07,984
Someone will gaze down on us and say
644
00:51:08,119 --> 00:51:11,654
They make no fuss
645
00:51:11,789 --> 00:51:14,825
For this was their finest shower
646
00:51:14,958 --> 00:51:17,710
Yes, this was their finest shower
647
00:51:17,836 --> 00:51:22,297
So thank God we're normal,
normal, normal
648
00:51:22,424 --> 00:51:25,129
Yes, thank God we're normal
649
00:51:25,260 --> 00:51:30,218
For this was their finest shower
650
00:51:34,936 --> 00:51:37,510
- What do you mean?
- There's a new show.
651
00:51:37,647 --> 00:51:40,055
Backed to the limit. I've a new backer.
652
00:52:01,796 --> 00:52:08,545
And now a request from Mrs Connie
Morris of Northwood, Middlesex,
653
00:52:08,677 --> 00:52:14,348
for her husband, Flight Sergeant Ozzie
Morris, who is serving in the Middle East.
654
00:52:21,148 --> 00:52:23,141
Sorry, I've forgotten my key.
655
00:52:23,275 --> 00:52:28,435
I don't like to answer the door in case
it's a policeman with another summons.
656
00:52:28,572 --> 00:52:31,691
There'll be a policeman
at the door all right.
657
00:52:33,159 --> 00:52:36,777
- I do hope Archie won't be long.
- Well, Frank's with him.
658
00:52:36,913 --> 00:52:40,958
Frank's a sensible boy.
He'll see he doesn't stay out too late.
659
00:52:41,084 --> 00:52:45,745
Archie's a fool. Always got some
big idea he's going to make money.
660
00:52:45,881 --> 00:52:51,835
A while ago it was female impersonators.
We were going to make a packet.
661
00:52:51,970 --> 00:52:56,797
But by the time Archie got started on it,
it had all petered out.
662
00:52:56,933 --> 00:52:59,305
Oh, well. It's no good worrying.
663
00:52:59,435 --> 00:53:04,476
It says on the telly that Mick's coming
home and that's all that really matters.
664
00:53:04,607 --> 00:53:08,106
- Come on. Have a drop of this.
- Not for me, thanks.
665
00:53:08,235 --> 00:53:10,275
Getting low on the drink.
666
00:53:10,404 --> 00:53:14,865
You need something to eat. You've had
nothing but tea and cigarettes for days.
667
00:53:14,992 --> 00:53:19,155
- I couldn't eat anything.
- People have got to eat.
668
00:53:19,288 --> 00:53:23,535
"People have got to eat" she says.
That's a good one.
669
00:53:23,667 --> 00:53:27,451
- You can't carry on...
- "People have got to eat" she said.
670
00:53:27,587 --> 00:53:30,541
- Where's he got to?
- He's gone into the kitchen.
671
00:53:30,673 --> 00:53:37,292
That's not all they've got to do. They've
got to do things you don't know about.
672
00:53:37,431 --> 00:53:43,183
- I know, love. Things have been tough.
- You're a very sweet girl, Jean.
673
00:53:43,311 --> 00:53:46,929
- But you're not even my own daughter.
- All right, I'm sorry.
674
00:53:47,065 --> 00:53:49,686
- Don't presume too much.
- I just said...
675
00:53:49,817 --> 00:53:54,028
- Don't presume too much!
- Let me get you some tea.
676
00:53:55,656 --> 00:53:57,696
Why doesn't Archie come back?
677
00:53:57,825 --> 00:54:04,444
You'd think he'd come back here and
celebrate after hearing his son was safe.
678
00:54:05,499 --> 00:54:10,208
- I don't know. You people...
- Don't let's have a row. It's silly.
679
00:54:10,337 --> 00:54:14,880
It's not silly.
Anyway, who said we were having a row?
680
00:54:15,009 --> 00:54:19,587
All I said was that I wasn't hungry.
And you start getting at me.
681
00:54:19,721 --> 00:54:23,304
- I wasn't getting at you.
- I can't eat.
682
00:54:23,433 --> 00:54:25,722
You don't know what it's like.
683
00:54:25,852 --> 00:54:32,435
We've lived on penny pieces of bacon
and what we've got from the tribunal.
684
00:54:32,567 --> 00:54:35,272
- You're all alike.
- We should have stayed.
685
00:54:35,403 --> 00:54:37,691
Archie, I'm talking to Jean.
686
00:54:37,822 --> 00:54:40,907
I thought you were.
I sized up the situation in a flash.
687
00:54:41,034 --> 00:54:45,910
It's easy for people like you to make fun.
I left school when I was 12 years old.
688
00:54:46,039 --> 00:54:49,538
If she tells me that once more
I'll get up on this roof,
689
00:54:49,667 --> 00:54:53,368
drunk as I am, I shall get up and scream.
I've never done that before.
690
00:54:53,504 --> 00:54:57,917
You had to pay sixpence a week.
Some weeks my mother couldn't find it.
691
00:54:58,050 --> 00:55:02,130
But this is a welfare state, my darling.
Nobody wants, nobody goes without.
692
00:55:02,263 --> 00:55:06,130
- I was scrubbing a dining hall...
- Everybody's all right.
693
00:55:06,266 --> 00:55:10,394
- Young Mick's all right, Frank, Jean...
- I wish you'd both shut up.
694
00:55:10,520 --> 00:55:17,270
She'll make it up with old Graham and
forget all about silly old Trafalgar Square.
695
00:55:17,402 --> 00:55:19,442
You don't understand.
696
00:55:19,571 --> 00:55:24,447
Phoebe scrubbed a dining-hall floor
for 500 kids when she was 12 years old.
697
00:55:24,576 --> 00:55:28,656
Have you any idea how often she's
told me about those kids and that hall?
698
00:55:28,788 --> 00:55:32,038
- Oh, shut up.
- OK, son. Pass one of those to Jean.
699
00:55:32,166 --> 00:55:36,294
- She looks as though she could use it.
- Every night's a party night.
700
00:55:36,420 --> 00:55:41,379
And do you know why? Look at her.
Look at that poor, pathetic old thing there.
701
00:55:41,509 --> 00:55:43,715
She's very drunk.
702
00:55:43,844 --> 00:55:50,761
And her untrained mind is racing because
her blood's full of alcohol we can't afford.
703
00:55:50,893 --> 00:55:54,476
- What's he talking about?
- She's tired and she's getting old.
704
00:55:54,605 --> 00:55:58,389
She's tired of me. Nobody ever
gave her very much except me.
705
00:55:58,525 --> 00:56:03,483
And my God, she's tired of that.
Aren't you, my old darling?
706
00:56:03,614 --> 00:56:08,074
I tried to make something of myself.
I really did try.
707
00:56:08,201 --> 00:56:11,487
I was nothing much to look at.
I was a plain kid.
708
00:56:12,580 --> 00:56:16,364
No, I wasn't. I wasn't even plain.
709
00:56:16,502 --> 00:56:20,120
I was the ugliest bloody kid
you ever saw in your life.
710
00:56:20,255 --> 00:56:25,545
But I made something of myself.
I made him want me.
711
00:56:26,053 --> 00:56:29,551
- It was a long time ago.
- Have a row, but can it be a quiet row?
712
00:56:29,681 --> 00:56:34,638
Stop yelling, I can't hear myself shout.
Sing us a song, there's a good boy.
713
00:56:34,768 --> 00:56:36,927
- Where's the old man?
- In the kitchen.
714
00:56:37,063 --> 00:56:40,597
Billy, come out of there.
You know you're only reading.
715
00:56:40,734 --> 00:56:45,062
What's he doing messing in there?
He knows I don't like him being in there.
716
00:56:45,196 --> 00:56:48,066
Leaves everything in such a mess.
717
00:56:52,620 --> 00:56:55,621
- You've been at that cake.
- What?
718
00:56:55,748 --> 00:56:58,618
- You've been at my cake.
- I was hungry.
719
00:56:58,751 --> 00:57:01,420
But that cake was for Mick.
It wasn't for you.
720
00:57:01,545 --> 00:57:05,625
- I'm sorry.
- I bought it for when he comes home.
721
00:57:06,383 --> 00:57:09,383
- Why couldn't you leave it alone?
- I just fancied it.
722
00:57:09,511 --> 00:57:12,880
Couldn't you leave it alone?
It wasn't for you.
723
00:57:13,014 --> 00:57:16,513
What's the matter with you?
I feed you, don't I?
724
00:57:16,643 --> 00:57:19,727
Don't think you give me
all that much money every week.
725
00:57:19,855 --> 00:57:21,562
- Forget it.
- I won't.
726
00:57:21,689 --> 00:57:24,441
- We'll buy another.
- You'll buy another!
727
00:57:24,567 --> 00:57:28,779
You're so rich.
You're such a great big success!
728
00:57:28,905 --> 00:57:32,404
What's a little cake?
We'll order a dozen of them.
729
00:57:32,533 --> 00:57:38,287
Well, I bought that cake.
And it cost me 30 shillings.
730
00:57:38,414 --> 00:57:43,040
It was for Mick.
Because I wanted to give him something.
731
00:57:43,168 --> 00:57:47,415
Something that I know he'll like
after going through what he has.
732
00:57:47,548 --> 00:57:52,044
And now that bloody greedy old pig.
That old pig!
733
00:57:52,178 --> 00:57:57,598
As if he hasn't had enough of everything
already, he's got to get his fingers in it!
734
00:58:10,153 --> 00:58:12,193
Excuse me, Jean.
735
00:58:21,623 --> 00:58:26,913
Well, I suppose he's had more out of life
than any of us and he's enjoyed it.
736
00:58:27,045 --> 00:58:29,121
Good luck to him.
737
00:58:29,255 --> 00:58:32,126
All the same, you needn't have done that.
738
00:58:32,258 --> 00:58:38,260
I'm so sorry, Archie.
Please try and forgive me.
739
00:58:40,850 --> 00:58:46,472
Come on, love! Pull yourself together.
We should have all done that years ago.
740
00:58:46,605 --> 00:58:50,852
Let's all pull ourselves together,
together, together
741
00:58:50,984 --> 00:58:53,771
Let's pull ourselves together
and the happier we'll be
742
00:58:53,904 --> 00:58:56,276
That's right. Remember we're British.
743
00:58:56,407 --> 00:58:59,656
Don't worry, Jean. You won't
have to endure this much longer.
744
00:58:59,784 --> 00:59:05,206
Phoebe, let's see you do your dance.
Jean, play something. She dances well.
745
00:59:05,332 --> 00:59:09,828
I wonder if she'll make me cry tonight.
We'll see. Frank, sing us a song.
746
00:59:09,961 --> 00:59:12,666
When there isn't a girl about
you feel so Ionely
747
00:59:12,797 --> 00:59:14,790
When there isn't a girl about...
748
00:59:14,924 --> 00:59:17,842
Wait a minute.
I'm just trying to remember...
749
00:59:17,969 --> 00:59:21,385
The girl I love is up in the lavatory...
750
00:59:21,514 --> 00:59:24,634
Archie, no. Not like that. It's rude.
751
00:59:24,767 --> 00:59:27,886
- You sing it, Phoebe.
- No, I can't sing.
752
00:59:28,021 --> 00:59:29,847
All right, then.
753
00:59:29,980 --> 00:59:34,938
The boy I love, he's up in the gallery
754
00:59:35,069 --> 00:59:40,063
The boy I love, he's smiling now at me
755
00:59:40,199 --> 00:59:45,240
Where is he? Can't you see?
Waving his handkerchief
756
00:59:45,370 --> 00:59:50,412
As merry as a robin that sings on a tree
757
00:59:50,542 --> 00:59:54,041
- Jolly good, old girl.
- No, it sounded bloody awful.
758
00:59:55,797 --> 00:59:59,380
- This letter's from Claire.
- May I have another cup of tea?
759
00:59:59,509 --> 01:00:02,925
Just a minute. I want to read it.
I want you to listen too.
760
01:00:03,054 --> 01:00:06,969
Claire's my niece, the one in Canada.
John's daughter.
761
01:00:07,100 --> 01:00:09,971
They're all there now,
my brother John as well.
762
01:00:10,103 --> 01:00:16,556
They started off in the restaurant business
with $500. There's their little girl.
763
01:00:16,693 --> 01:00:20,276
Now they have a hotel in Toronto.
And they're opening another.
764
01:00:20,405 --> 01:00:24,402
You don't have to look interested.
She's not interested in that.
765
01:00:24,533 --> 01:00:28,531
- Of course she's interested.
- Frank, would you get me another tea?
766
01:00:28,662 --> 01:00:31,450
I'm only trying to explain to her.
767
01:00:31,582 --> 01:00:36,577
They've got this one hotel in Toronto.
Now they're opening one in Ottawa.
768
01:00:36,712 --> 01:00:39,547
John manages the hotel
in Toronto for them
769
01:00:39,673 --> 01:00:44,134
and now they want us to go out there and
for Archie to manage the hotel in Ottawa.
770
01:00:44,261 --> 01:00:49,053
- What do I know about hotels?
- He gets cross if I mention it.
771
01:00:49,183 --> 01:00:53,595
Don't say that once more.
You've mentioned it and I'm not cross.
772
01:00:53,728 --> 01:00:57,098
I just think it's a bloody pointless idea.
773
01:01:00,360 --> 01:01:04,274
Anyway, you can't get
draught Bass in Canada.
774
01:01:05,698 --> 01:01:08,154
- I'm going to the theatre.
- Do you want dinner?
775
01:01:08,284 --> 01:01:11,617
I don't think so.
I'll grab a bite somewhere.
776
01:01:11,745 --> 01:01:15,447
Jean, why don't you bring some
fish and chips to the old dump?
777
01:01:15,583 --> 01:01:18,952
Remember, when you were a kid?
I'll bring the champagne.
778
01:01:19,086 --> 01:01:21,624
I don't often see my little daughter. Ta-ta.
779
01:01:21,756 --> 01:01:23,713
Bye.
780
01:01:23,841 --> 01:01:29,001
He doesn't like me talking about it.
But we needn't decide for a month or two.
781
01:01:29,138 --> 01:01:32,257
- What about the boys?
- They can come too if they want.
782
01:01:32,391 --> 01:01:35,724
I don't know about Mick,
but Frank likes the idea.
783
01:01:35,852 --> 01:01:39,352
- Do you, Frank?
- Well, take a look around you.
784
01:01:40,357 --> 01:01:44,936
Can you think of any good reason for
staying in this cosy corner of Europe?
785
01:01:45,070 --> 01:01:48,106
Who are you? You're nobody.
786
01:01:48,240 --> 01:01:51,526
You're nobody, you've no money
and you're young.
787
01:01:51,660 --> 01:01:54,411
And when you're not,
you'll still have no money,
788
01:01:54,538 --> 01:01:58,286
you'll still be nobody
and the only difference is you'll be old.
789
01:01:58,416 --> 01:02:02,165
Sometimes I think you're the only
sensible one of any of us.
790
01:02:08,342 --> 01:02:10,798
Here we are. Champagne.
791
01:02:11,887 --> 01:02:14,639
Remember when I picked you up
at the bottom here?
792
01:02:14,765 --> 01:02:17,636
You'd been very naughty on the toboggan.
793
01:02:26,944 --> 01:02:31,190
- Phoebe seems very keen on Canada.
- Yeah.
794
01:02:31,324 --> 01:02:34,573
- I went to Canada during the war.
- I remember.
795
01:02:34,701 --> 01:02:37,702
Couldn't get draught Bass,
not even in Toronto.
796
01:02:37,829 --> 01:02:44,164
Seemed to think that was pretty English.
Didn't seem very English to me.
797
01:02:44,294 --> 01:02:48,042
That Trafalgar Square thing.
Did you really believe in all that?
798
01:02:48,172 --> 01:02:51,008
I thought I did at the time.
799
01:02:51,134 --> 01:02:54,420
Like me and draught Bass
and women, eh?
800
01:02:55,513 --> 01:02:57,506
- Are you meeting someone?
- No.
801
01:02:57,640 --> 01:03:00,891
Just a man about some scenery.
Got half an hour.
802
01:03:01,019 --> 01:03:04,055
Phoebe seems to have set her heart on it.
803
01:03:09,568 --> 01:03:12,403
Your mother...
804
01:03:12,529 --> 01:03:16,029
Your mother caught me
in bed with Phoebe.
805
01:03:21,038 --> 01:03:23,078
I didn't know.
806
01:03:25,750 --> 01:03:31,125
I don't know what I really expected,
but I expected you to say more than that.
807
01:03:34,927 --> 01:03:36,551
You'd...
808
01:03:37,846 --> 01:03:39,886
You'd just been born.
809
01:03:41,433 --> 01:03:45,560
And your mother caught
poor old Phoebe and me together.
810
01:03:45,687 --> 01:03:50,978
Poor old Phoebe.
She's never even enjoyed it very much.
811
01:03:52,527 --> 01:03:57,354
Anyway, your mother walked out.
She walked out just like that.
812
01:03:57,491 --> 01:04:02,484
She was what you'd call a person of...
a person of principle.
813
01:04:03,704 --> 01:04:07,785
You mean, you didn't love my mother?
814
01:04:07,917 --> 01:04:11,083
Yes. I loved her.
815
01:04:11,212 --> 01:04:15,340
I was in love with her.
Whatever that may mean.
816
01:04:17,176 --> 01:04:21,803
Anyway, a few months later
she was dead. That was that.
817
01:04:28,812 --> 01:04:31,482
Tell me something. Will you?
818
01:04:32,566 --> 01:04:35,235
I want you to tell me something.
819
01:04:36,361 --> 01:04:41,866
Well, what would you say
to a man of my age
820
01:04:43,952 --> 01:04:45,991
marrying a girl of...
821
01:04:47,538 --> 01:04:50,290
about... your age?
822
01:04:51,418 --> 01:04:53,457
Oh, Dad!
823
01:04:54,462 --> 01:04:56,917
You're not serious.
824
01:05:00,634 --> 01:05:02,674
You couldn't.
825
01:05:03,930 --> 01:05:08,140
You couldn't do
a thing like that to Phoebe.
826
01:05:08,267 --> 01:05:11,718
You've been away from
your old man a bit too long.
827
01:05:12,479 --> 01:05:16,062
- My scenery man. Got to go.
- Where are you meeting him?
828
01:05:16,191 --> 01:05:19,145
- At the Rockcliffe.
- I'll walk down with you.
829
01:05:19,278 --> 01:05:21,769
Don't bother. I'm in a bit of a rush.
830
01:05:21,905 --> 01:05:25,523
Why don't you take old Phoebe
to the pictures?
831
01:05:25,659 --> 01:05:27,984
Here you are, love. Thanks.
832
01:05:47,389 --> 01:05:51,849
- What's the matter, Jean?
- It's Archie.
833
01:05:51,976 --> 01:05:54,265
- What is it now?
- A girl.
834
01:05:54,395 --> 01:05:57,978
- That's nothing new.
- He's thinking of marrying this one.
835
01:05:58,107 --> 01:06:00,480
- I don't believe it.
- It's true.
836
01:06:00,610 --> 01:06:03,396
- What about Phoebe?
- Exactly.
837
01:06:03,529 --> 01:06:07,313
- Who is it?
- She was in the beauty competition.
838
01:06:07,449 --> 01:06:10,652
Tina Lapford. She won second prize.
839
01:06:10,787 --> 01:06:13,656
Daughter of some bakery people
in Burnley.
840
01:06:13,789 --> 01:06:16,873
They must be quite well off.
841
01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:21,081
Here's the end of the ride.
Come along, my dear.
842
01:06:27,260 --> 01:06:31,044
- Let me help you down.
- Thank you, Granddad.
843
01:06:34,059 --> 01:06:36,597
You know, I wonder...
844
01:06:36,728 --> 01:06:42,184
He was with her and her parents
yesterday at Stocks's café.
845
01:06:42,316 --> 01:06:46,184
Do you suppose that
he's pretending we don't exist?
846
01:06:46,321 --> 01:06:49,238
I don't know.
Her parents are here, you say?
847
01:06:49,365 --> 01:06:52,401
They're staying at the holiday camp.
Part of the prize.
848
01:06:52,535 --> 01:06:56,698
Damn waste of money.
Town hall pays and shoves it on the rates.
849
01:06:56,831 --> 01:07:01,327
Granddad, will you walk down
to the station with me to meet Graham?
850
01:07:01,460 --> 01:07:04,330
- You'll want to be alone.
- No, I'd love you to come.
851
01:07:04,463 --> 01:07:08,591
I've got some business to do.
Bye-bye, Jean.
852
01:07:09,719 --> 01:07:11,343
Bye.
853
01:07:27,193 --> 01:07:32,982
- Can I speak to Mrs Lapford?
- I'll find out if she's in the camp, sir.
854
01:07:40,040 --> 01:07:45,496
Calling Mrs Lapford. Please go to
reception, where friends are waiting.
855
01:07:45,628 --> 01:07:50,088
Mrs Lapford? That's me.
What can I be wanted for?
856
01:07:50,216 --> 01:07:52,754
I wonder what they could want.
857
01:07:54,386 --> 01:07:57,257
Hang on. I can hear him coming now.
858
01:07:58,265 --> 01:08:00,305
- Call, Mr Rice.
- Not now.
859
01:08:00,434 --> 01:08:04,134
She's called twice.
Female named Lapford.
860
01:08:05,605 --> 01:08:07,895
- Could I have your autograph?
- Shh!
861
01:08:08,025 --> 01:08:10,979
Hello? Archie Rice speaking.
862
01:08:11,111 --> 01:08:12,735
Yes.
863
01:08:16,075 --> 01:08:21,115
No. Look, wait a minute.
I don't understand. What's wrong?
864
01:08:25,041 --> 01:08:30,628
I don't understand. There's evidently
some misunderstanding.
865
01:08:31,380 --> 01:08:33,539
Well, look...
866
01:08:33,675 --> 01:08:37,921
Don't be a cow and stand there. Get out.
No, I'm sorry. Look.
867
01:08:38,053 --> 01:08:41,007
Let me ring back, will you?
868
01:08:41,141 --> 01:08:45,351
What do you mean, the last time?
It's ridiculous.
869
01:08:46,229 --> 01:08:48,268
Is Tina there?
870
01:08:48,398 --> 01:08:51,352
Can I speak to her, please? Why not?
871
01:08:56,321 --> 01:08:59,489
Who? Who's been telling you all this?
872
01:09:01,535 --> 01:09:03,160
Who?!
873
01:09:06,665 --> 01:09:09,452
I'm sure... He couldn't have.
874
01:09:10,669 --> 01:09:12,709
On stage, everybody!
875
01:09:14,130 --> 01:09:17,915
He couldn't have understood.
Listen, Mrs Lapford.
876
01:09:18,051 --> 01:09:22,796
I want her... I meant it, I want her in
the show and I want her to be the star.
877
01:09:22,930 --> 01:09:25,303
And I want her too. Tell her that.
878
01:09:28,769 --> 01:09:33,681
No, you can't.
I'm depending on you. You promised.
879
01:09:33,816 --> 01:09:37,814
Everything's fixed up.
I've paid out cheques.
880
01:09:43,034 --> 01:09:44,658
Yes.
881
01:09:46,078 --> 01:09:48,237
Yes, it's true.
882
01:09:48,372 --> 01:09:51,124
Seven years ago, that's right.
883
01:09:51,250 --> 01:09:54,334
Still in the receiver's.
884
01:09:54,461 --> 01:09:57,712
Well, you didn't ask me.
885
01:10:00,384 --> 01:10:04,002
Well, for God's sake, give me some time.
886
01:10:04,137 --> 01:10:06,807
At least let me come and see you.
887
01:10:14,355 --> 01:10:16,395
On stage.
888
01:10:21,196 --> 01:10:25,822
Mr Rice, could I have your autograph?
You look so daft.
889
01:10:31,330 --> 01:10:34,498
- That was Mrs Moneybags, wasn't it?
- Shut up!
890
01:10:34,626 --> 01:10:39,334
You've mucked it up, haven't you?
I said you've mucked it up!
891
01:10:39,463 --> 01:10:44,090
- Gawd, you need a keeper.
- What's the matter?
892
01:10:51,475 --> 01:10:54,512
- Dad, what's the matter?
- Shut up. Shut the door.
893
01:10:54,645 --> 01:10:56,851
Just a second. Hey, John.
894
01:10:56,980 --> 01:11:00,016
Take these costumes
down to the girls for me.
895
01:11:00,150 --> 01:11:05,607
Check the board and tell Charlie
to keep going. Be about two minutes.
896
01:11:05,739 --> 01:11:07,779
- Got all that?
- Yep.
897
01:11:10,201 --> 01:11:13,404
- Dad, what's got into you?
- That's it.
898
01:11:13,538 --> 01:11:17,406
Who do you think narked?
Shopped me? Grassed?
899
01:11:17,542 --> 01:11:21,041
- Better get used to prison language.
- What are you on about?
900
01:11:21,171 --> 01:11:26,710
The show. The old man.
My old man, Billy Rice. Old-time favourite.
901
01:11:26,843 --> 01:11:30,792
- The new show. It's finished.
- What's Granddad got to do with that?
902
01:11:30,930 --> 01:11:33,088
There's no time to explain that now.
903
01:11:33,224 --> 01:11:38,300
Better get on the blower to everybody,
make all cancellations. Every single thing.
904
01:11:38,437 --> 01:11:40,928
Oh no, it's too late now. Send wires.
905
01:11:41,065 --> 01:11:43,223
- Does Harold know?
- Oh, God.
906
01:11:43,359 --> 01:11:45,849
Tell Harold... Get Harold...
907
01:11:45,987 --> 01:11:50,197
Get him on the blower for me
as soon as I come off after the first act.
908
01:11:51,700 --> 01:11:53,739
OK. Curtain up.
909
01:11:56,997 --> 01:11:59,488
What happened, Archie?
910
01:11:59,624 --> 01:12:03,871
- He's still with us. That's something.
- Will you not be doing the new show?
911
01:12:04,004 --> 01:12:08,630
- Just give me a chance.
- You had your chance, mate. And ours.
912
01:12:20,562 --> 01:12:25,389
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
913
01:12:33,574 --> 01:12:35,614
Does he think he's funny?
914
01:12:39,914 --> 01:12:41,621
Shut up!
915
01:12:41,748 --> 01:12:47,040
Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Archie Rice
is the name. Mrs Rice's favourite boy.
916
01:12:47,171 --> 01:12:52,331
We're going to entertain you for the next
two and a half hours... half hours... Whoo!
917
01:12:55,345 --> 01:12:58,512
I want to see your father.
I'll be in his dressing room.
918
01:12:58,640 --> 01:13:00,679
All right, Granddad.
919
01:13:00,809 --> 01:13:07,808
Now I'm going to introduce to you
Beryl and BoBo, the trampoline tramps.
920
01:13:11,444 --> 01:13:15,027
You swine. These kids have
turned down other work for you.
921
01:13:15,156 --> 01:13:17,907
- I'll see what I can do.
- We know what you can do.
922
01:13:18,034 --> 01:13:20,109
I'll get lawyers and I'II...
923
01:13:20,245 --> 01:13:24,491
- What about you lot? Not interested?
- He didn't want us anyway.
924
01:13:24,624 --> 01:13:27,578
Take your spoon out of
the mixing bowl and get ready.
925
01:13:27,710 --> 01:13:32,171
I don't care about the bloody money,
but I'm owing the bookie 15 quid.
926
01:13:32,298 --> 01:13:35,252
Look, be a pal and forget it, would you?
927
01:13:35,384 --> 01:13:38,171
- How can I? I paid it in.
- You paid it in?
928
01:13:38,303 --> 01:13:40,047
- Of course.
- When?
929
01:13:40,181 --> 01:13:43,964
Yesterday. And I've made out
payments on the strength of it.
930
01:13:44,101 --> 01:13:46,723
- You'd better think about...
- OK, Harold.
931
01:13:46,854 --> 01:13:50,020
Granddad's arrived.
He's in your dressing room.
932
01:13:50,148 --> 01:13:54,811
Look. Wire Jimmy Collins.
"Cancel shoes order. Snags. Archie."
933
01:13:54,945 --> 01:13:57,233
- And try and get Lennie again.
- Archie!
934
01:13:57,364 --> 01:14:01,313
- Not now, dear.
- It's not fair, Frank.
935
01:14:02,494 --> 01:14:08,164
- Frank, I've lost one of me scallops.
- You'll have to turn sideways then, dear.
936
01:14:08,291 --> 01:14:13,249
Before you say anything, I had to do it
to stop you making a fool of yourself.
937
01:14:13,379 --> 01:14:18,753
- You stopped me. Congratulations.
- I didn't know about this financial thing.
938
01:14:18,884 --> 01:14:21,209
I like that phrase. "This financial thing".
939
01:14:21,346 --> 01:14:25,888
I'll make it up to you, I promise.
I realise I've put you in a bit of a spot.
940
01:14:26,017 --> 01:14:29,966
- "Bit of a spot."
- Look, I've had an idea.
941
01:14:30,103 --> 01:14:32,974
I'll come in with you. How's that?
942
01:14:33,774 --> 01:14:37,854
- You mean to jail, dear?
- My name's still worth something.
943
01:14:37,986 --> 01:14:41,901
We'll give 'em the old songs.
People still want them, you know.
944
01:14:42,032 --> 01:14:44,071
What about it? What do you say?
945
01:14:44,576 --> 01:14:47,363
- God help you.
- Archie...
946
01:14:47,496 --> 01:14:51,743
Listen, Frank. Maybe you can understand.
His mind's going.
947
01:14:51,875 --> 01:14:56,287
I'm an undischarged bankrupt, see?
I do everything in my wife's name.
948
01:14:56,421 --> 01:15:00,632
But just this once I signed the cheques
myself, for very obvious reasons.
949
01:15:00,758 --> 01:15:03,795
- Cripes! You really are...
- Archie, listen.
950
01:15:03,928 --> 01:15:08,257
Listen, son. Just no more interference.
Yes? Thank you.
951
01:15:08,390 --> 01:15:10,633
I've got a few pounds in the post office.
952
01:15:10,769 --> 01:15:15,062
- You're on again.
- It's not much, but it's a few pounds.
953
01:15:15,189 --> 01:15:17,228
I'd like you to have it.
954
01:15:20,278 --> 01:15:23,527
I didn't mean it. Doesn't he know?
955
01:15:25,408 --> 01:15:27,447
I didn't mean it.
956
01:15:41,131 --> 01:15:43,420
Why should I care?
957
01:15:43,550 --> 01:15:47,298
Why should I let it touch me?
958
01:15:49,139 --> 01:15:51,428
Why shouldn't I
959
01:15:51,558 --> 01:15:56,978
Sit down and try to
let it pass over me?
960
01:15:57,105 --> 01:16:00,308
Why should they stare?
961
01:16:01,609 --> 01:16:05,737
Why should I let it get me?
962
01:16:05,864 --> 01:16:08,698
What's the use of despair
963
01:16:09,784 --> 01:16:14,327
If they call you a square?
964
01:16:14,455 --> 01:16:16,661
You're a long time dead...
965
01:16:16,790 --> 01:16:18,830
Thank you.
966
01:16:23,380 --> 01:16:25,004
Thanks.
967
01:16:26,800 --> 01:16:30,170
- He's a bit down tonight.
- Is he?
968
01:16:30,304 --> 01:16:33,055
- Seems all right to me.
- Does he?
969
01:16:35,601 --> 01:16:39,384
I'm not much in the mood
for a show, I suppose.
970
01:16:41,315 --> 01:16:43,888
What happened about the Africa job?
971
01:16:44,025 --> 01:16:46,942
- I turned it down.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
972
01:16:47,946 --> 01:16:53,320
Something like it'll turn up again.
Something like you might not.
973
01:16:53,451 --> 01:16:57,947
I can't leave here yet. I'm too involved.
974
01:16:58,080 --> 01:17:01,745
- You do understand, don't you?
- I'm beginning to.
975
01:17:01,876 --> 01:17:04,996
Whatever it is, you're up to your ears in it.
976
01:17:05,129 --> 01:17:09,376
- I'm not much help, am I?
- You've been patient. I don't know why.
977
01:17:11,093 --> 01:17:13,465
Because I love you. That's why.
978
01:17:14,639 --> 01:17:17,426
- You'd still rather I went back to London?
- Yes.
979
01:17:17,558 --> 01:17:23,264
It's not that I don't want you to stay, but...
there's something I must see Dad about.
980
01:17:23,397 --> 01:17:26,812
- Would you like me to come with you?
- I'd rather you didn't.
981
01:17:26,942 --> 01:17:28,981
Not tonight.
982
01:17:30,821 --> 01:17:33,027
All right.
983
01:17:33,156 --> 01:17:36,323
She'd steal your knickers
and sell them for dusters.
984
01:17:36,452 --> 01:17:40,033
- Jean!
- Mrs Roberts. I always used to say that.
985
01:17:40,164 --> 01:17:43,164
What are you talking about,
you right-wing old poop?
986
01:17:43,291 --> 01:17:46,292
- Old poop maybe, but not right-wing.
- Can we talk?
987
01:17:46,419 --> 01:17:50,203
- Your dad's a bit slewed.
- I don't want any. I want to talk to Dad.
988
01:17:50,339 --> 01:17:53,210
I'm talking to Frank about my landlady.
989
01:17:53,342 --> 01:17:56,546
She always used to remind me
of a bloke I used to know.
990
01:17:56,679 --> 01:18:01,970
- Listen, this'll interest you.
- I want to talk to you about Phoebe.
991
01:18:02,101 --> 01:18:08,103
He was Irish and he did a trampoline act.
We called him Lady Rosie Bothways.
992
01:18:08,232 --> 01:18:10,308
The end of me old cigar
993
01:18:10,443 --> 01:18:12,566
Oh, shut up, Frank!
994
01:18:12,695 --> 01:18:18,899
What's the matter with you? Don't you
care what's going to happen to Phoebe?
995
01:18:20,703 --> 01:18:24,700
Jeannie, love. Shall I tell you something?
996
01:18:24,831 --> 01:18:27,666
All my life I've been
searching for something.
997
01:18:27,792 --> 01:18:32,371
A draught Bass you could drink all night
without running off every ten minutes,
998
01:18:32,506 --> 01:18:34,913
without feeling sick, and all for fourpence.
999
01:18:35,050 --> 01:18:39,344
The man who could offer me that
would really get my vote.
1000
01:18:39,471 --> 01:18:44,179
Oh, he's funny. Archie, you're a bit
of a bastard, you really are.
1001
01:18:44,309 --> 01:18:47,429
- Insult me. I don't mind.
- Don't start being humble.
1002
01:18:47,562 --> 01:18:50,978
- What's the matter with her?
- Don't ask me.
1003
01:18:51,107 --> 01:18:53,680
You can't hurt yourself
any more, can you?
1004
01:18:53,818 --> 01:18:56,522
- Why don't you leave him alone?
- That's right.
1005
01:18:56,654 --> 01:19:01,648
He doesn't give a damn about anyone.
He's two pen'orth of nothing.
1006
01:19:01,784 --> 01:19:03,990
- That sums me up.
- Leave him alone.
1007
01:19:04,120 --> 01:19:08,413
He wants to divorce Phoebe.
What's going to happen to her?
1008
01:19:08,541 --> 01:19:10,866
You can't change anybody.
1009
01:19:11,001 --> 01:19:13,409
Have you seen this girl
he wants to marry?
1010
01:19:13,545 --> 01:19:17,792
I caught them together yesterday.
She's a professional virgin.
1011
01:19:17,924 --> 01:19:20,498
If you're going to start that,
I'm going home.
1012
01:19:20,636 --> 01:19:25,464
She's pretty, spoilt, vain and stupid.
Her parents are probably stupid too.
1013
01:19:25,599 --> 01:19:28,172
- How old is she?
- 20.
1014
01:19:28,309 --> 01:19:33,896
I suppose you think you're going to get
them to put up money for this new show.
1015
01:19:34,023 --> 01:19:38,069
- That was the idea.
- What do you mean "was the idea"?
1016
01:19:38,195 --> 01:19:43,900
Well, before you started getting fussed
about it, old Billy went and did something.
1017
01:19:44,034 --> 01:19:51,115
He went and saw my little girlfriend's
parents and he... told them.
1018
01:19:51,249 --> 01:19:56,919
Unfortunately he did not realise that in
the meantime I had signed a few cheques.
1019
01:19:57,046 --> 01:19:59,537
- He scotched it?
- Oh, yes. Completely.
1020
01:19:59,674 --> 01:20:02,959
So you needn't worry.
About Phoebe, anyway.
1021
01:20:03,094 --> 01:20:06,712
Old Archie isn't going
to get his oats after all.
1022
01:20:26,574 --> 01:20:28,199
Dad...
1023
01:20:29,745 --> 01:20:31,737
Yeah?
1024
01:20:31,872 --> 01:20:34,991
Oh, I...
1025
01:20:43,675 --> 01:20:46,510
You're like your mother.
1026
01:20:46,636 --> 01:20:50,134
She always felt everything very deeply.
1027
01:20:52,266 --> 01:20:55,267
Much more deeply than I did.
1028
01:20:55,395 --> 01:20:58,810
You're what they call a sentimentalist.
1029
01:20:58,939 --> 01:21:02,522
- What are you talking about now?
- I know.
1030
01:21:03,444 --> 01:21:07,358
You think I'm just a tatty old
music-hall actor.
1031
01:21:07,489 --> 01:21:10,573
But you know, when you're up here...
1032
01:21:12,035 --> 01:21:14,740
When you're up here...
1033
01:21:14,871 --> 01:21:19,830
you think you love all those people
around you out there.
1034
01:21:21,295 --> 01:21:23,702
But you don't.
1035
01:21:23,838 --> 01:21:27,421
You don't love them like...
1036
01:21:31,596 --> 01:21:35,890
Oh, if you learn it properly
you get yourself a technique.
1037
01:21:36,017 --> 01:21:41,012
And smile, darn you, smile and look
the friendliest, jolliest thing in the world.
1038
01:21:41,147 --> 01:21:46,438
But you'll be just dead and used up.
1039
01:21:47,444 --> 01:21:49,983
Just like everybody else.
1040
01:21:52,033 --> 01:21:54,358
See this face?
1041
01:21:55,077 --> 01:22:01,364
This face can split open
with warmth and humanity.
1042
01:22:01,500 --> 01:22:04,287
It can sing.
1043
01:22:04,419 --> 01:22:07,206
Tell the worst,
unfunniest stories in the world
1044
01:22:07,339 --> 01:22:13,958
to a great mob of dead, drab erks.
1045
01:22:16,181 --> 01:22:18,637
And it doesn't matter.
1046
01:22:18,767 --> 01:22:21,519
It doesn't matter because look.
1047
01:22:22,604 --> 01:22:24,644
Look at my eyes.
1048
01:22:26,232 --> 01:22:29,316
I'm dead behind these eyes.
1049
01:22:31,196 --> 01:22:33,817
I'm dead.
1050
01:22:33,948 --> 01:22:39,322
Just like the whole
damn shoddy lot out there.
1051
01:22:44,750 --> 01:22:46,826
Hey.
1052
01:22:46,961 --> 01:22:51,539
Did I ever tell you
the most moving thing I ever heard?
1053
01:22:52,382 --> 01:22:57,210
- Oh, Dad...
- No, no, it's not a gag.
1054
01:22:57,346 --> 01:23:01,391
It was when I was in Canada.
I used to slip over the border sometimes.
1055
01:23:01,517 --> 01:23:07,637
One night I heard some Negress
singing in a bar.
1056
01:23:08,315 --> 01:23:17,521
If ever I saw any hope or strength
in the human race,
1057
01:23:17,657 --> 01:23:20,742
it was in the face of that old fat Negress
1058
01:23:20,869 --> 01:23:26,622
getting up to sing about...
Jesus, or something like that.
1059
01:23:27,959 --> 01:23:30,118
I never even liked that kind of music,
1060
01:23:30,253 --> 01:23:35,164
but to see that old bag singing
her heart out to the whole world...
1061
01:23:35,300 --> 01:23:40,460
And you knew somehow that it didn't
matter how much you kicked people,
1062
01:23:40,596 --> 01:23:42,803
how much you despised them.
1063
01:23:42,932 --> 01:23:48,804
If they can get up and make
a pure, natural noise like that,
1064
01:23:48,937 --> 01:23:51,808
there's nothing wrong with them.
1065
01:23:53,067 --> 01:23:58,357
If I'd done one thing as good as that
in my whole life,
1066
01:23:59,364 --> 01:24:02,568
I'd have been all right.
1067
01:24:07,664 --> 01:24:10,665
I wish to God I was that old bag.
1068
01:24:10,792 --> 01:24:16,546
I'd stand up and shake
my great bosom up and down
1069
01:24:16,673 --> 01:24:23,803
and lift up my head and make
the most beautiful fuss in the world.
1070
01:24:26,599 --> 01:24:28,972
Dear God, I would.
1071
01:24:30,853 --> 01:24:33,392
But I'll never do it.
1072
01:24:39,445 --> 01:24:42,280
Do you think you're going to do it?
1073
01:24:42,406 --> 01:24:45,111
Well, do you?
1074
01:24:45,242 --> 01:24:47,281
I don't know.
1075
01:24:50,831 --> 01:24:52,870
I really don't know.
1076
01:24:54,043 --> 01:24:57,541
I'll probably do exactly the same as you.
1077
01:24:58,171 --> 01:25:00,129
Of course you will.
1078
01:25:01,758 --> 01:25:05,672
Mind you, you'll make a better job of it.
You're more clever.
1079
01:25:05,804 --> 01:25:07,713
Archie.
1080
01:25:07,847 --> 01:25:12,011
Aren't you coming home?
Frank sent me here.
1081
01:25:12,143 --> 01:25:17,897
There's a policeman outside asking
for you. What do you think he wants?
1082
01:25:19,859 --> 01:25:25,814
It's the income tax man.
I've been expecting him for 20 years.
1083
01:25:27,616 --> 01:25:33,287
Don't look so scared, Phoebe, love.
Old Archie's drunk again.
1084
01:25:33,414 --> 01:25:36,700
It's only the income tax man.
1085
01:25:36,834 --> 01:25:42,125
The policeman's outside with Frank.
What do you think he wants, Archie?
1086
01:25:42,256 --> 01:25:46,087
Bastards. The rotten bastards.
1087
01:25:49,388 --> 01:25:51,760
They've killed him.
1088
01:25:58,688 --> 01:26:00,811
They've killed Mick.
1089
01:26:30,302 --> 01:26:33,338
O Lord
1090
01:26:33,473 --> 01:26:37,221
I don't care where they
1091
01:26:37,351 --> 01:26:40,352
Bury my body
1092
01:26:41,438 --> 01:26:44,724
No, I don't care where they
1093
01:26:44,858 --> 01:26:48,559
Bury my body
1094
01:26:49,487 --> 01:26:54,363
Cos my soul's gonna live with God
1095
01:27:43,999 --> 01:27:46,038
Quick march!
1096
01:27:57,053 --> 01:28:01,382
- They're giving him quite a sendoff.
- They say he'll get the VC.
1097
01:28:01,516 --> 01:28:04,054
What will they do, send it on to him?
1098
01:28:05,812 --> 01:28:08,184
- Could I have a photograph?
- Oh, please.
1099
01:28:08,314 --> 01:28:11,268
- Who are you?
- I'm the boy's uncle.
1100
01:28:11,401 --> 01:28:16,358
- They've got a job to do.
- Don't think they're not enjoying it.
1101
01:28:21,118 --> 01:28:24,451
- Are you all right?
- Yes, I'm all right, dear.
1102
01:28:24,580 --> 01:28:27,996
- I'd like to go now.
- Just one last question.
1103
01:28:28,125 --> 01:28:31,743
I do realise that this
is a very difficult situation.
1104
01:28:31,878 --> 01:28:36,505
I wonder if you could spare me
a few minutes.
1105
01:28:37,759 --> 01:28:40,049
All right, boys. Wrap it up.
1106
01:28:40,179 --> 01:28:41,886
Bum.
1107
01:28:42,013 --> 01:28:47,518
About this story - this is how I've angled it:
"The background of a hero".
1108
01:28:47,644 --> 01:28:54,098
I thought we could do something with
those patriotic songs you sing in your act.
1109
01:28:54,234 --> 01:28:57,649
That's... They're my own material.
I don't think...
1110
01:28:57,779 --> 01:29:02,690
- How's the show going?
- Eh? Oh, well...
1111
01:29:02,825 --> 01:29:09,029
People just sit back and stare at you.
They just sit. But London, that's the place.
1112
01:29:09,165 --> 01:29:12,996
You're not planning a comeback
by any chance, are you?
1113
01:29:14,796 --> 01:29:17,464
No return to the stage?
1114
01:29:17,589 --> 01:29:19,665
- He's retired.
- Pity.
1115
01:29:19,801 --> 01:29:22,421
There's nothing like the old music hall.
1116
01:29:22,553 --> 01:29:26,882
Well, thank you so much, Mr Rice.
Please accept my sympathy...
1117
01:29:27,015 --> 01:29:33,053
- They look as if they're about to go now.
- I'll pay all your debts, settle everything.
1118
01:29:33,189 --> 01:29:38,099
- I'll see that nothing happens.
- You're the one to persuade him, Bill.
1119
01:29:38,235 --> 01:29:42,980
Only don't tell him that I asked you.
Frank's all set to go, aren't you?
1120
01:29:43,114 --> 01:29:46,448
- Could we have that? Want some, Dad?
- Yes.
1121
01:29:46,576 --> 01:29:50,241
Brother Bill. Admiring the view?
Worth the climb, isn't it?
1122
01:29:50,372 --> 01:29:54,285
Frank's been telling me about
Claire's letter. I'm willing to help.
1123
01:29:54,418 --> 01:29:59,328
I'll pay all your fares and you can
start a fresh life. The three of you.
1124
01:29:59,964 --> 01:30:03,547
What's the matter, son?
You want to be a Mountie?
1125
01:30:03,676 --> 01:30:07,092
We could all be together.
Bill would look after everything.
1126
01:30:07,221 --> 01:30:09,546
- When's the London train?
- 9 o'clock.
1127
01:30:09,682 --> 01:30:11,923
- Who are we seeing? Rubens?
- No, Klein.
1128
01:30:12,059 --> 01:30:15,393
- Charlie Klein?!
- What are you going to London for?
1129
01:30:15,521 --> 01:30:19,056
It's about a new show.
He's coming to make it look respectable.
1130
01:30:19,191 --> 01:30:22,145
Why don't you come too?
You can see Graham.
1131
01:30:25,322 --> 01:30:27,943
Afternoon. Mr Klein, please.
1132
01:30:28,075 --> 01:30:30,992
- Who shall I say?
- Mr Billy Rice, Mr Archie Rice.
1133
01:30:31,119 --> 01:30:33,693
Will you take a seat, please?
1134
01:30:36,750 --> 01:30:41,661
Charlie Klein's all right. I used to know
him when he was about Jeannie's age.
1135
01:30:41,797 --> 01:30:43,836
Put him up for my club.
1136
01:30:43,965 --> 01:30:48,212
As soon as I heard the name Rice,
I said to myself "It can't be!"
1137
01:30:48,345 --> 01:30:53,849
Nice to see you. How are you, Archie?
Let's come into the office.
1138
01:30:53,975 --> 01:30:57,973
You're getting younger and younger.
You're looking wonderful.
1139
01:30:58,104 --> 01:31:03,264
Wait for us in the pub next door, will you?
Won't be long.
1140
01:31:06,112 --> 01:31:10,359
We all had our own style, our own songs,
and we were all English.
1141
01:31:10,491 --> 01:31:12,780
What's more, we spoke English.
1142
01:31:12,910 --> 01:31:14,986
Ah! There you are, Jean.
1143
01:31:15,120 --> 01:31:17,160
We knew what the rules were.
1144
01:31:17,289 --> 01:31:20,789
Even if we spent half our time
making people laugh at them,
1145
01:31:20,918 --> 01:31:23,587
we never suggested
anyone should break 'em.
1146
01:31:23,712 --> 01:31:26,084
- What are you having to drink?
- Scotch.
1147
01:31:26,214 --> 01:31:30,128
- Scotch all round, please.
- A real pro is like the run of people.
1148
01:31:30,260 --> 01:31:34,092
Only he's a lot more like them
than they are themselves.
1149
01:31:34,222 --> 01:31:36,796
Hey, Billy. See who that is?
1150
01:31:36,934 --> 01:31:42,389
Eddie Trimmer!
Eddie, my favourite comedian.
1151
01:31:42,522 --> 01:31:46,899
Archie, I love your dad.
He's such a sweet old man.
1152
01:31:47,026 --> 01:31:51,570
And still a first-class performer.
Still a first-class performer.
1153
01:31:51,698 --> 01:31:55,529
It's going to be great
to see him up there again.
1154
01:31:57,286 --> 01:32:01,995
What are you doing? You're not going
to put him back into the business?
1155
01:32:02,124 --> 01:32:05,873
It's our only chance.
Klein wouldn't look at me.
1156
01:32:06,003 --> 01:32:11,341
- Old Billy's sold on this idea himself.
- And you're going to let him do it?
1157
01:32:11,467 --> 01:32:16,294
You'll kill that old man.
Just to save that tatty show of yours.
1158
01:32:16,430 --> 01:32:22,266
It isn't to save that tatty show of mine.
It's to save your tatty dad from jail.
1159
01:32:22,394 --> 01:32:26,344
They may not come in to see Archie,
but they may remember Billy Rice.
1160
01:32:26,481 --> 01:32:28,558
Worth a try, anyway.
1161
01:32:28,692 --> 01:32:35,441
He wants to do it. Look at him,
poor old gubbins. Top of the bill again.
1162
01:32:35,573 --> 01:32:39,654
With your lips close to the telephone
1163
01:32:39,786 --> 01:32:44,946
When they might be close to mine
1164
01:32:45,082 --> 01:32:50,077
Well, here's to the Billy Rice show at
the Winter Gardens Illuminations Week!
1165
01:33:40,386 --> 01:33:43,755
- Have you seen the old man?
- Yeah, he's OK. Jean's with him.
1166
01:33:43,890 --> 01:33:47,009
Frank, we're stuck!
1167
01:33:47,142 --> 01:33:50,060
Pour a bucket of water over 'em.
1168
01:33:56,277 --> 01:33:58,684
Oh dear, I've made a mess of this.
1169
01:33:58,821 --> 01:34:03,068
Don't bother about it. Wipe it off.
It's your face they've come to see.
1170
01:34:03,200 --> 01:34:06,236
- Do you want a drink?
- No, no. Not before the show.
1171
01:34:06,370 --> 01:34:08,409
- Granddad? Overture.
- Already?
1172
01:34:08,539 --> 01:34:11,409
- Don't worry. I'll be down.
- He's nearly ready.
1173
01:34:11,542 --> 01:34:14,661
After "Put Me Amongst the Girls"
it's my first change.
1174
01:34:14,795 --> 01:34:16,834
I'll have everything down.
1175
01:34:16,964 --> 01:34:19,003
- Good luck.
- Good luck, Mr Rice.
1176
01:34:19,132 --> 01:34:20,792
Thank you!
1177
01:34:20,925 --> 01:34:25,588
Once I get that backcloth behind me
I can hold them for half an hour.
1178
01:34:25,722 --> 01:34:30,265
I'll see those five-minute
microphone wonders out any day.
1179
01:34:33,396 --> 01:34:36,018
- Did you realise what time it is?
- Don't worry.
1180
01:34:36,149 --> 01:34:39,103
He's on his way down now.
1181
01:34:39,235 --> 01:34:42,734
- I'm getting a problem with the voltage.
- Don't be trouble.
1182
01:34:42,863 --> 01:34:45,900
- Is the overture on?
- You've got a good two minutes.
1183
01:34:46,033 --> 01:34:49,449
- You look great.
- Thank you.
1184
01:34:49,578 --> 01:34:52,034
- Warn the orchestra.
- He's not ready yet.
1185
01:34:52,165 --> 01:34:55,865
It's all right, love.
You've got a good minute.
1186
01:35:25,447 --> 01:35:27,819
- Good luck, Billy.
- And the same to you.
1187
01:35:27,949 --> 01:35:34,153
Always be nice to them on the way up
in case you need them on the way down.
1188
01:35:35,665 --> 01:35:39,912
Put me amongst the girls
1189
01:35:41,212 --> 01:35:44,746
Put me amongst the girls
1190
01:35:46,383 --> 01:35:51,129
Do me a favour, do
1191
01:35:51,263 --> 01:35:55,925
You know I'd do as much for you
1192
01:35:56,060 --> 01:35:58,811
- Are you ready, Granddad?
- Yes.
1193
01:36:00,022 --> 01:36:03,225
- We're coughing better tonight.
- Yes.
1194
01:36:03,358 --> 01:36:06,692
Put me amongst the girls
1195
01:36:08,030 --> 01:36:11,445
Those with the curly curls
1196
01:36:12,867 --> 01:36:16,912
They'll enjoy themselves and so will I
1197
01:36:17,038 --> 01:36:20,787
If you put me amongst the girls
1198
01:36:20,917 --> 01:36:24,121
Tell Rita to keep going. Get a chair.
1199
01:36:24,254 --> 01:36:27,041
- What's the matter?
- It's my breath.
1200
01:36:27,173 --> 01:36:28,833
Brandy, quick, someone!
1201
01:36:36,515 --> 01:36:38,555
Renee!
1202
01:36:43,439 --> 01:36:45,977
- What?
- Something's happened to Granddad.
1203
01:36:46,108 --> 01:36:48,978
- You've got to go on again.
- What?
1204
01:36:50,237 --> 01:36:52,277
- What is it?
- Stand by to go on again.
1205
01:36:52,406 --> 01:36:55,490
- It's so hot.
- Give us the bottle.
1206
01:36:55,617 --> 01:36:59,317
- A little snifter.
- No, I'm all right. I'm all right.
1207
01:36:59,455 --> 01:37:02,076
- Go on. Do a reprise.
- I've got to go on now.
1208
01:37:02,207 --> 01:37:04,247
No, Dad. No... Billy!
1209
01:37:05,419 --> 01:37:07,245
Put me amongst the girls
1210
01:37:07,378 --> 01:37:09,620
Carry on.
Put me amongst the girls
1211
01:37:10,424 --> 01:37:13,175
Do me a favour, do
1212
01:37:13,301 --> 01:37:15,970
You know I'd do as much for you
1213
01:37:16,095 --> 01:37:18,765
Put me amongst the girls
1214
01:37:18,890 --> 01:37:22,590
Those with the curly curls
1215
01:37:28,108 --> 01:37:30,146
I'm sorry.
1216
01:38:02,016 --> 01:38:07,436
- Jean thinks I killed him.
- You didn't kill him, Archie.
1217
01:38:07,562 --> 01:38:09,851
He was such a sweet old man.
1218
01:38:09,981 --> 01:38:12,472
Do you know who said that?
Charlie Klein.
1219
01:38:12,609 --> 01:38:16,060
He said old Billy was
the nicest old man in the business.
1220
01:38:16,196 --> 01:38:19,646
Klein's cancelling the show
as soon as he gets a replacement.
1221
01:38:19,783 --> 01:38:21,821
I've booked your tickets to Canada.
1222
01:38:21,952 --> 01:38:26,364
I'm going anyway, Dad. So you'd better
start thinking about number one.
1223
01:38:26,497 --> 01:38:29,534
Can't get draught Bass in Canada.
I've tried it.
1224
01:38:30,293 --> 01:38:33,958
I'm not doing anything for you
to stay here. Not any more.
1225
01:38:34,088 --> 01:38:36,626
It's Canada or jail.
1226
01:38:38,050 --> 01:38:41,501
You know, I always thought
I should go to jail.
1227
01:38:41,637 --> 01:38:46,548
I should think it must be quite interesting.
Sure to meet some people I know.
1228
01:38:50,813 --> 01:38:56,020
Oh, well. Just two more performances.
Seems a pity, though.
1229
01:38:56,151 --> 01:38:59,851
I'd like to have notched up
21 years against the income tax man.
1230
01:38:59,988 --> 01:39:06,406
I'll never make my 21st now. It would
have been fun to get the key of the door.
1231
01:39:15,837 --> 01:39:18,043
Why should I care?
1232
01:39:18,172 --> 01:39:23,415
Why should I let it touch me?
1233
01:39:24,012 --> 01:39:26,300
Why shouldn't I
1234
01:39:26,430 --> 01:39:31,887
Sit down and try to
let it pass over me?
1235
01:39:32,019 --> 01:39:35,684
Why should they stare?
1236
01:39:36,815 --> 01:39:40,267
Why should I let it get me?
1237
01:39:48,368 --> 01:39:49,364
Mr Klein.
1238
01:39:49,494 --> 01:39:52,246
What's he up to, saying
he can carry on next week?
1239
01:39:52,372 --> 01:39:55,326
- He said that?
- Yes, to all these people.
1240
01:39:55,459 --> 01:39:59,955
I was meant to be in Blackpool, but I had
to come all the way down here to fix this.
1241
01:40:00,088 --> 01:40:02,579
I'm telling you, he's out. Finished!
1242
01:40:02,715 --> 01:40:05,385
Why should I care?
1243
01:40:05,510 --> 01:40:09,590
Why should I let it touch me?
1244
01:40:11,808 --> 01:40:14,050
Why shouldn't I
1245
01:40:14,185 --> 01:40:20,473
Sit down and try to
let it pass over me?
1246
01:40:20,608 --> 01:40:22,233
Why...
1247
01:40:29,992 --> 01:40:34,986
There's a bloke out here with a hook.
You know that, don't you?
1248
01:40:35,122 --> 01:40:40,543
He's standing there. I can see him.
Must be the income tax man.
1249
01:40:40,669 --> 01:40:43,753
- This show finishes tonight.
- Yes, Mr Klein.
1250
01:40:43,880 --> 01:40:47,048
This show finishes tonight.
1251
01:40:48,427 --> 01:40:51,630
Why should I care?
1252
01:40:51,763 --> 01:40:55,892
Why should I let it touch me?
1253
01:40:57,894 --> 01:41:00,182
Why shouldn't I
1254
01:41:00,314 --> 01:41:06,600
Sit down and try to
let it pass over me?
1255
01:41:06,736 --> 01:41:09,062
Why...
1256
01:41:11,657 --> 01:41:15,869
Why should I let it get me?
1257
01:41:15,995 --> 01:41:19,198
What's the use of despair...
1258
01:41:25,004 --> 01:41:30,128
If they see that you're blue
they'll look down on you
1259
01:41:30,259 --> 01:41:34,886
So why oh why should I
1260
01:41:37,850 --> 01:41:42,096
Oh, well. I have a go. Don't I, ladies?
1261
01:41:43,646 --> 01:41:46,517
I do. I have a go.
1262
01:41:53,573 --> 01:41:58,318
You've been a good audience. Very good.
1263
01:41:58,453 --> 01:42:02,035
A very good audience.
1264
01:42:02,165 --> 01:42:05,119
Let me know where you're
working tomorrow night.
1265
01:42:05,251 --> 01:42:07,540
I'll come and see you.
1266
01:42:22,184 --> 01:42:24,307
Ghost lights up.
1267
01:42:31,902 --> 01:42:34,903
Take the front curtains up.
1268
01:43:23,888 --> 01:43:26,918
Visiontext Subtitles: Paul Sofer
Subs ripped by Ingolf 2004